An Unfortunate Consequence
by xHypnotizedx
Summary: sequel to bloodshot
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - About As Normal as Normal Can Get.  
Shay**

The cold November air seemed to slap me in the face as I exited the high school. That was the one thing I missed about the week we had hid in Bolton. I didn't have to go to school. Of course that one perk didn't even amount to the anxiety i was faced with every single day. So it was good to be back.  
Things, for the most part, seem to be fairly normal. Well, nothing's ever normal at Jefferson High, but it's about as normal as it's going to get anyway. I readjusted the strap on my bag and kept walking. Danny was sick today, or at least he claimed he was, so he wasn't at school. He finally granted me permission to walk home as long as I keep my cell phone on. I didn't know what he was so worried about, after being nearly killed by Charlie I'm pretty sure I can hold my own.  
The breeze swirled around my face and I felt a small rain drop fall on my nose from the gray sky overhead. Wonderful.  
I started walking down 7th Street, and few cars were parked along the curb and a few other kids were walking home too.  
"Hey Shayna," I heard someone call my name. I looked behind me. There was a boy, a Junior this year I think, following close behind me. I didn't know how he knew me, I'd never spoken to him in my life. Somehow, though, he knew my name. Probably through Danny.  
"Uh...hey?" I said as I kept walking.  
"Wait, wait a minute." I said grabbing my hand. I could have killed him. "I wanna talk to you."  
"About...?" I asked, annoyed. It was about to start raining and if this kid didn't let me go I was going to have to kick him so hard below the belt it would take weeks to recover.  
"You've been through a lot lately." he said as he started to walk towards me. I continued to take a few steps backwards until I was up against a car. He was up against me.  
"Get off me," I tired to shove him, but he was much too strong. I assumed from the look in his eyes he was probably drunk. He seemed like the kind of kid to skip school and go boozing. I tried to hit him again but he pinned my arms back.  
"Hey!" Someone else shouted. The guy looked behind him and I looked past his head. There on the corner, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, was Dougie. "Leave her alone."  
He dropped the cigarette and stepped on it, then made his was over to the two of us. The guy backed off and Dougie grabbed his shirt, "You ever mess with her again and you will probably end up dying a virgin, got it?"  
I cracked a smile at the horrified look on this guys face. He nodded quickly, "Sure. Sure."  
"Now get out of here," Dougie shoved him and he went running. It surprised me that a kid as small as Dougie could pose such a threat to everyone around. But I guess with the events that had happened recently, anyone would be scared of him.  
"Thanks," I smiled tucking some hair behind me ear. He nodded, then looked up at the sky. Rain began to fall harder, "You want a ride?"  
He led me to his beat up car and I hopped in the passenger's seat. He blasted the heat in there and I began to warm up. I rubbed my bare arms as Dougie started the car.  
"So how much longer until you can get a real license, Doug?" I asked him smiling. He turned back to me, "Few months or so I guess."  
I laughed remembering the first time I rode in a car with him and he showed me his fake license. It scared the living hell out of me, but it didn't bother me at all now.  
"By the way, I never did ask, who's car is this?" I asked him. He gave me a crooked smile, "Haz's."  
"I thought Harry didn't have a car." I said. Dougie laughed, "He doesn't. I won this in a bet."  
"Harry Judd bet his CAR?" I asked. Dougie laughed and nodded, "Yep. 'Course I keep this at Harry's house when I'm not driving it. My mom would flip if she found out. But I won it not too long ago in a seemingly endless game of poker. Harry was...a little out of it. Had one too many drinks. He bet his car, I won the hand and here we are now."  
I laughed and shook my head, "I can't believe you'd take advantage of him while he was drunk."  
"Hey, you do what you can." he shrugged and pulled away from the curb. We sped down the road with the radio blasting and the two of us singing along.  
Dougie pulled into my driveway and lowered the volume on the music, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."  
"Yeah. See ya. And thanks for everything back there. I wasn't exactly looking forward to being raped by a creeper today." I laughed. He grinned, "Sure. Anytime."  
He kissed me on the cheek, sending butterflies flooding into my stomach, and I opened the door and waved goodbye.  
Dougie wasn't in jail and I was finally home. Everything will return exactly to the way it was.  
At least...that's how the story is_ supposed _to go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Sick of it All  
Dougie**

I pulled the pillow over my head, "Shut up!" I shouted. I stood up, slammed the door, put in my Bink 182 CD and turned the volume up then lie back down on my bed. None of it could drown out their screaming. It made me sick to listen to them fighting like that. I couldn't take it. This had been going on for so long. I couldn't take it anymore. "That's it," I said to myself, standing up and grabbing a few bags. I threw as many clothes as I could fit in there, a notebook, a pen and I grabbed my bass. I stormed down the stairs to see them yelling at each other in my living room.  
"Dougie Lee, where are you going?" My mom asked me.  
"Anywhere but this place." I responded, "It's a living hell in here listening to you guys fight like this. I can't stand it. Nothing could possibly be worse than this place. I'm out of here."  
I heard footsteps "Dougie!" a small voice shouted. I turned around and my little sister was at the top of the stairs, tears streaming down her face "Dougie don't go!" she ran over to me. I knelt down next to Jazzie and hugged her. "I'll come back Jazzie. I promise. You'll be fine without me."  
"No I won't" she sobbed, "Please don't go." I looked up at my mom and dad who were staring at us, "You see what you've done? This is why I'm leaving."  
"Dougie no!" my sister cried pulling my arm, "You can't go!" I shook her off and grabbed my bags, then headed out the door. I listened to my sister crying and it broke my heart. I felt terrible for leaving her there. But I just couldn't take it. I held back my tears and called the only person I could think of to help me.  
"Danny?" I said into the phone after he picked up.  
"Dougie, it's nearly midnight. What do you need?"  
"I need to come stay with you or something. I can't take this sh*t man. Can you come pick me up?" I told him.  
"What's going on? Are you alright?" he asked, concerned.  
"Yeah." I said swallowing hard, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry for waking you up."  
"Don't worry about it. I'll be over in a little bit."  
"Is everything okay?" Danny asked as I hopped into the passenger's seat.  
I shook my head, "No. Not really anyway. It's my parents."  
"What's going on man?" he asked me.  
"My parents won't stop fighting. It's like this every single night, Danny. I can't listen to them yelling. I try to drown it out and it doesn't work! I need to get as far away from them as possible."  
When we stepped inside the house and everyone was awake. "Hey, what's the matter, Doug?" Harry asked. He was in just a pair of sweatpants and making a bowl of cereal.  
"Dude, it's almost midnight." I told him. "Hungry?"  
He laughed, "Yeah I guess so. Or maybe just worried. What happened?"  
"It's my parents," I told him, "They've been fighting for a while now. I just can't listen to them yelling at each other like that. I needed to get out, you know."  
"Yeah, mate. Sometimes we all need that," Tom said. I blinked back tears and headed into the basement where we always hung out.  
"Oh. Sorry." I said when I got down there. Shayna was already there watching a movie on the couch, half asleep.  
"It's no big deal. Doug, what are you doing here?" she asked, sitting up. I wiped my eyes, but it was too late. She was already off the couch, "Why are you crying?"  
"I'm not crying." I told her simply. "I'm...err..."  
"You're crying." she finished, "Sit down and tell me what's wrong." she shoved me on the couch and sat down next to me. I told her everything. "I can't take it anymore." I said with tears in my eyes.  
Shayna found her way into my arms and I closed my eyes and hugged her. I wish life was always as simple as that moment was.  
"Dougie?" we both heard Danny's husky voice and jumped up. "Uhh...down here!" I called to him. He came down the stairs.  
"You okay, mate?" he asked me. I nodded and wiped my eyes on my shoulder again. "Yeah...yeah I'm alright."  
"Good," he flashed me a smile, "Listen, any time you need to stay here, just come over. Don't worry about asking alright, just walk over. We don't mind. And my parents love you to death so they won't care."  
I laughed, "Cool. Thanks, Danny."  
He nodded, "You coming upstairs?"  
"Yeah, I'll be up in a sec," I said as he turned around and ran up the stairs again. I turned back to Shay. "Thanks," I told her. She smiled and nodded.  
"I'll let you get back to your movie, then." I told her with a smile, then stood up and ran upstairs after Danny.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - A Turning Point**

The months passed in a blur. It was the same thing every day. School, Danny's house, home - straight to my room. I talked to my parents as little as possible. I didn't want to see them. Didn't want to hear them. I started writing a lot too. Songs or poems, anything I could. I played bass quite a bit too. Danny would help me give my lyrics a melody and he'd get out his guitar and we'd write. Tom would help out too quite a bit. Soon we had a band going, with Harry on drums. It was just a small band in Danny's garage, something to do for fun after school. Something to get my mind off my parents.  
But then we started playing gigs. Small ones, that is, but a gig was a gig. We even got paid. But it was still nothing more than a hobby. Something to do.  
That is, until we got discovered.  
I was sitting at home one night, a rarity for me, but my parents were both out so I figured I'd stay home with Jazzie. I was making something to eat and my phone started ringing  
"Hello?" I answered, bored, as I took a bite of the sandwich I had made for myself.  
"WE GOT SIGNED!" Tom shouted into the phone. I pulled it away from my ear, "Tom, what the hell are you talking about?"  
"You. Me. Danny. Haz. The Band mate. We got signed. Island Records wants us!" he told me.  
I choked on the peanut butter and jelly that was in my mouth. I coughed a couple times until I could breathe again.  
"You've gotta be kidding me!" I shouted back at him. He explained that they wanted to meet with us tomorrow. See us play, hear some songs and all that. It was completely unreal.  
"Why were you shouting?" Jazzie stood at the kitchen door looking confused. I lifted her off the ground and spun around, "I'm gonna be famous!"  
"Famous?" she asked, then decided to celebrate with me, "MY BROTHER'S GONNA BE FAMOUS!"  
My dad came home late that night, but for once I was excited to see him. Only problem was he was drunk.  
"Dad! Dad! Guess what?" I asked when he walked through the door. He just kind of glared at me. "What?"  
"You know my band? The one I started with my friends?" I asked, "We got a record deal deal, Dad! I'm gonna be famous!"  
"Really...?" he asked me. I nodded and smiled.  
"Hm. That's nice." and he left.  
Nice? That's nice? That's all I get? I've wanted this for how long now and all I get is a 'that's nice?' I walked back up to my room.  
"Dad, guess what? I'm gonna be famous," I paced my room, with my radio blaring, "Isn't that great? You're only son is going to be on the radio. He's going to have his face in magazines. People are going to know him. Isn't that great?" I turned the volume up a little higher, and stopped at my desk, staring at a picture of my dad. "Yeah Dougie. I'm so...proud."  
If only he'd actually say that.  
My sister stood at my door, "Who are you talking to?"  
I sighed, "No one Jazz."  
I sat on my bed and she wandered into my room. She sat next to me.  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"Sure," she said.  
"Are you...are you proud of me, Jazz?" I asked her. She smiled, "Sure. You're my brother and I think your band is awesome and the fact that you might be famous is cool and I couldn't be more proud."  
"Thanks," I said with a smile.  
"You're upset." She told me, "What's wrong?"  
"Dad doesn't even care," I sighed, "All I got was a 'that's nice'"  
"Doug, he's drunk. Tell him tomorrow." Jazzie said.  
"No, that's exactly it!" I told her, "Don't you see. If he cared, he wouldn't drink. He wouldn't fight with mom. He might care tomorrow, but tomorrow night when he's drunk again he'll stop caring. I don't want a dad who only loves me half the time."  
I had a hard time falling asleep that night. I knew it shouldn't bother me this much. Jazzie was right, Dad was out of it. He'd be more excited tomorrow. But it still bothered me. And the fact I had such a big day the next day made it even harder to fall asleep. I was nervous and I was sad.  
My dreams got a little fucked up that night.

The next morning was our meeting with Island. I got dressed, grabbed my bass, then waited for Tom to come round to pick me up. I poured a bowl of cereal, but just looking at it made me want to throw up. My stomach was already full of butterflies. I just poured it down the sink.  
"You know, there's starving kids in Africa who would love to eat that," My sister joked as she sat on the counter.  
"Yeah?" I asked, "Well then I promise you that when the guys and I get really famous we'll donate millions of dollars to those kids in Africa, how's that sound?"  
"Okay," she smiled.  
"If we become really famous, that is." I clarified. I put the bowl and spoon in the dishwasher and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge instead, then sat at the table and grabbed my bass to practice again. My fingers were shaking.  
"Nervous?" Jazzie asked. I nodded, "A little yeah."  
"You'll do great," she told me, "Good luck, Dougie." She hugged me.  
I hugged back, "Thanks Jazz."  
Tom honked his horn and I stood up. "Well. Next time I see you let's hope I can say, 'I'm signed with Island. I'm going to be famous'"  
"You'll do great," Jazzie assured me again, "Next time I see you, you'll be famous."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Signed.**

"We made it!" Tom shouted as we ran through the streets of London celebrating. The entire day passed in a blur. A few guys from the record label asked us a few question, most of it I didn't understand. Tom did most of the talking. They had us play a few things and it was as simple as that. McFLY was now a part of Island Records.  
The four of us jumped around making idiots of ourselves for longer than needed, but could you blame us? The label even told us they'd help us rent a house so we had somewhere to practice. It was completely unreal. But it was weird, Tom just drove me home and I sat down and had a bowl of cereal like nothing happened.  
"So so so so so?" Jazzie came barreling down the stairs and over to the kitchen table. I looked up at her and let my face fall into a frown. I got up and put my bowl in the sink managing to keep a straight, sad face the entire time.  
"Oh...Dougie...I'm sorry," Jazzie said sadly giving me a hug. My face broke into a grin.  
"Yeah. Well you don't need to be BECAUSE WE GOT SIGNED!" I shouted, lifting her off the ground again. She screamed, "Dougie that's amazing!" then she hit me. "But don't scare me like that."  
"Sorry, sorry." I laughed. I couldn't wait to tell all my friends.  
"Mom!" I shouted as she came through the door.  
"Hi Dougie, how did your meeting go today?" she asked me. Unlike my father, she cared.  
"We got signed," I told her with a huge grin. She kissed my forehead, "Dougie that's great!"  
"I know!" I said. My mom decided to take me out to dinner that night with the whole family to celebrate. She called my dad and he promised he'd meet us up at the restaurant after work. So my mom, sister and I got into the car and drove to get something to eat.  
Hours passed. Still no dad.  
"He'll be here," my mom assured my sister and I as we finished off yet another glass of Coke.  
"Forget it," I mumbled, "You don't have to pretend mom. He isn't coming."  
"Dougie I...."  
"Just take us home. Jazzie shouldn't have to sit through this and it sure as hell isn't much of a celebration for me. Thanks for trying though," I managed a weak smile.  
My mother drove us home in silence and when I got home, my cell phone started ringing.  
"Hello?" I asked tiredly.  
"Dougie! Danny and I have been driving around all day and we think we've found a house. The label said they'd help us rent it out!" he told me excitedly.  
"That's great," I said. It didn't sound like I meant it.  
"You alright? You don't seem as excited as I thought you'd be." Tom said. I opened my window and crawled out onto the roof, lighting up a cigarette as I pulled my hood up over my ears.  
"No, it's not that. I really am excited. It's just..." my voice trailed off as I blew out a puff of smoke and it hung in the cold air.  
"What's wrong, mate?" Tom asked.  
"My dad never showed up to dinner tonight. He doesn't care." I sighed. "I mean, I tell myself it doesn't matter but...but your dad and Danny's dad and Harry's dad, they're all so proud. Your dads love you a lot. I wish I had that."  
"You got your mom and sister," Tom reminded me.  
"Yeah I know," I sighed, "I just wish I had my dad too, ya know?"  
"Yeah." Tom said quietly.  
"Well listen, I have to go." I told him, "I'll talk to my mom about moving with you guys okay?"  
"Sure. We're hopefully going to have the house by the end of the week, if not before so just let me know, alright?" Tom said.  
"Sure, I'll let you know." I told him, then hung up. It was only then that I noticed I'd been crying.

The next day my popularity seemed to increase. All day I had people rushing up to me, asking me things about what had happened the day passed. It was crazy. It was like I was some sort of celebrity. And then I remembered...Soon enough, I would be.  
"Dougie," a soft voice said. I turned my head and lost my breath. A thin blonde girl was standing next to me. She had shoulder length hair and her blue eyes just barely peeked out of her fringe. She was holding a few balloons and from the size of her small frame I was surprised they didn't lift her off the ground.  
"I...er...Hi," I couldn't find any words to say. She smiled, "These are for you. Congratulations."  
Did I know her? I mean, I must know her from somewhere or she wouldn't have handed me these things, would she?  
Then I remembered where I knew her. She was in my study hall, sixth period.  
"Thanks Leah." I smiled. She just nodded. "So you're really going to be famous then, huh?"  
"If we get an album out and it sells, then yeah, I guess." I shrugged. She just smiled, "That's so cool."  
We stared walking down the hallway together, people stopping to stare at me. Word traveled fast around here.  
We stopped in the classroom and I set my things down next to her. Study hall was always loud. No one did much work.  
"We haven't talked much before," Leah reminded me. "Tell me about yourself."  
"What's to tell?" I asked, "I'm a wimpy bassist." She laughed. I stopped breathing.  
"No really," she smiled, "I mean, I've heard about you for a while now but we've never really talked. I always meant to but I was too shy."  
"Now why is that?" I asked her. A small blush crept across her face and she looked down, "You'd laugh."  
"Aw, come on. I won't laugh." I told her.  
"Fine." she looked back up at me, "I was too nervous to talk to you because in all honesty I think you're extremely good looking and I would have probably made an idiot out of myself."  
I was speechless.  
"See. I told you." she said shyly.  
"No. You told me I'd laugh," I said with a half smile, "I didn't laugh. In fact, I think that's probably the nicest thing I've been told in a while. And if you want to know the truth I lose my breath around you."  
"You're lying," she smiled, "We just met. I couldn't have that effect on you."  
"But there's where you're wrong," I told her, "You do. When I heard you say my name and I saw you standing there I literally forgot how to breathe."  
She giggled and put her small hand on top of mine.  
"You did it again." I laughed after a few seconds. She turned red again. We both sat in silence for a few minutes. I couldn't stop looking into her eyes. We both jumped when the bell rang, then laughed nervously. We were good for each other. Both pretty shy.  
We stepped out of the classroom and I shyly reached for her soft hand. She accepted and we kept walking.  
"Dougie!" I heard another voice call. I turned around and was soon in the arms of yet another girl.  
"Congratulations! My brother told me the news and I couldn't wait to find you!" the voice said.  
I pulled away and was face to face with Shayna.  
"Thanks," I smiled. "It means a lot. You're not gonna treat me differently when I'm a big star are you?" I asked with a small laugh. She laughed too, "Of course not."  
"Good," I smiled.  
"Who's this?" Leah asked me politely.  
"Oh yeah, sorry." I said, "Shay, this is Leah. Leah, this is Shayna, my best friend's little sister."  
The bell rang and me and Leah shared a worried look.  
"I'm gonna be late. Bye Shay!"  
I didn't hear her answer back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Forgotten.  
Shayna**

"My best friend's little sister?" That's what he's going to introduce me as? His best friend's little sister? After everything I've done for him. After everything he's said to me? I'm just some kid? I watched him walk down the hall with his arm around that 's been in a signed band for maybe 24 hours and he thinks he's a big shot now. He thinks he can just forget about me? I stormed through the halls and to my next class. I couldn't even see straight.  
Luck was on my side as I headed into Algebra. Mr. Banner wasn't in the room so he wouldn't notice I was late. I sat down and began scribbling on my notebook. I needed to clear my head.  
"Shay?" Sasha asked from next to me, "You okay?"  
"Fine," I told her, "I'm fine."  
"Shay, you're about to scribble a hole in your desk," she told me, "What's wrong?"  
I slammed my pen on the desk and looked up, "You know, just because he's about to become really famous doesn't mean he can treat me like this. It doesn't mean he has to be an ass about it. So he met some new people, that's fine, but I should still be considered his friend right? Not just some little kid?"  
"Shay, Shay, Shay, calm down," Sasha told me, "Boy troubles?"  
I nodded.  
"Dougie?"  
I nodded again. She sighed, "I guess fame changes people, huh?"  
"Guess so," I sighed, "I just never thought it would be him."  
Class started and I couldn't seem to concentrate. I mean, why in the world did this bother me so much? It wasn't like I owned Dougie. He wasn't my boyfriend or anything like that. He was allowed to like other people. I guess I just wished I would be the one. But he would never fall for me. I was just some stupid kid to him. But it wasn't very fair of him to lead me on like that. I actually thought I stood a chance. Yeah, like I could be that lucky. This is Dougie Poynter we're talking about.  
The bell rang, breaking me out of my daze. I gathered my things and left towards my locker.  
"Shay, you're miserable." Sasha pouted, "Listen. You're going to get your mind off of him one way or another. And I know how. Girls' night tonight. You me and Caitlin. The three of us can go to the mall or something. No boys. No Dougie."  
"Yeah, that sounds fun," I said, lightening up a bit, "I'll call you tonight, okay?"  
"Sure. See ya," she smiled and walked away. I grabbed my things from my locker then left to find my brother. His punishment for causing my family so much worry when we were away was that he got his car taken away until further notice. You're probably wondering why I don't get a punishment as well. Well, I do. Danny without his car means I have to walk everywhere as well.  
I met up with Danny, Harry and Tom and the four of us waited for Dougie.  
"Where's Doug? I'm about to leave without him." Harry sighed.  
"He's still with that chick he met this morning, I think." Danny said, but with a slight grin. "Dougie finally got an older girl I suppose." The three of them laughed. Apparently Leah was a Junior this year. Figures Dougie would like her more than me.  
"And, here they come now," Harry smiled. Dougie came walking over, his hand intertwined with Leah's, both of them laughing about something.  
"Hi guys," Dougie laughed.  
"Hi Dougie. Hey Leah."  
"Hi," Leah waved smiling.  
We all left and I pulled my hood up. It was beginning to get really cold. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as a few more kids joined out group and started walking. I pretended to be intently listening on what my brother and his friends were saying, but I still noticed when Dougie and Leah started to trail a bit farther behind than us.  
"Don't let it bother you." I told myself.

**Dougie POV.**

It was cold outside, but I didn't seem to notice when I was with Leah. We headed out of the school behind Danny and the rest of the gang and I lit up a cigarette while Leah continued to tell me a story about her brother.  
"You too?" she asked me.  
"What?" I asked.  
"You know that's a bad habit." Oh, so she was one of those people too I assumed.  
"Yeah," I said. I really did feel bad about it. But for some reason I just couldn't quit. A weakness of mine I suppose.  
"You know if you smoke a pack a day, with all that money you could have paid for car insurance." she told me as she crossed her arms.  
"I don't smoke a pack a day," I said defensively.  
"Well still," she said.  
"Plus." I gave her a charming smile, "I don't have a car."  
"Dougie," she grinned, "You know what I mean."  
"I know I know." I sighed. "I'm sorry. Really."  
"Sure," she breathed and we kept walking. trailing farther behind the group. Danny turned around once and flashed me a huge grin. I smiled back. Leah didn't seem to notice.  
"You know what?" I said. She looked back up at me with her huge blue eyes, "What?"  
"I'm done." I said as I dropped the cigarette to the cement under our feet. "I quit."  
"Really?" she asked, her eyes lighting up."  
"Sure," I shrugged. "You said so yourself. Bad habit. I'm wasting my money. So I'm done."  
"Thank you!" she smiled, throwing her arms around me.  
"You know this was your idea." I reminded her, "So since you got this crazy scheme into my head it's your responsibility to help me."  
"Sure," she smiled, "What do I need to do?"  
"You..." I told her, "You have one very simple job. If I ever think I need a cigarette it's your job to keep my mouth busy."  
She smiled, and put one hand on my waist and the other behind me head as her lips crashed down on mine. I felt two eyes burning a hole into the back of my head. Someone was watching me, but at the very moment I didn't really care. This moment seemed almost perfect.  
Almost.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - I Hate That I Love You.  
Shay**

I sulked all the way home. How could he do this to me? I was lucky I had managed not to cry when I saw Dougie kissing that b*tch.  
Alright, so saying that wasn't exactly nice, was it? I mean, I barely knew her. But still. How could he do that when I was right there. Leading me on then dumping me on the streets for some slut. Ha, some friend.  
"How was school?" Danny asked me as we walked inside followed by Tom and Harry. I stormed to my room. "Fine."  
I slammed my door and flopped down onto my bed. Today was anything but fine. My best friend is just ditching me. I liked it better when he wasn't famous.  
After I was pretty sure I had my temper controlled to a point where I wasn't going to kill anyone at the sound of Dougie's name, I headed into the kitchen to get something to eat.  
"Shay, are you alright?" Danny asked me. He, Harry and Tom were already in the kitchen.  
"I'm fine." I told him. He and the guys shared a look and Danny nodded, then Danny and Tom grabbed one of my arms, while Harry grabbed my feet lifting me off the ground.  
".Down!" I demanded, but the carried me into the next room and sat me on the couch. I crossed my arms and looked up at them. "Was all that really necessary?"  
"Yes," Tom nodded, "Now you're going to tell us what's wrong."  
"Nothing is wrong!" I insisted. They didn't buy it.  
"Come on, Shay." Danny said, "You're my sister and I know you better than anyone and I know when something's wrong so spill."  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I was very stubborn.  
"Shayna Jones!" Harry told me, sitting next to me, "You are going to tell me what's wrong right now."  
"No," I told him. Next thing I knew both his arms were around me, tickling my sides to the point where I couldn't breathe.  
"Harry! Stop it!" I laughed, "Please!"  
"Are you going to tell us what's wrong?" he asked me.  
"Fine! Fine," I tried to catch my breath, "Just let me go."  
"Fine," he said and dropped his arms. I got up to make a run for it, but Tom caught me from behind and lifted me off the ground with one arm. I was small for a freshman, and compared to those three boys I was tiny. He dropped me back on the couch. Danny was concerned because he was not only my brother, but one of my best friends. And Tom and Harry have been around for so long they were like brothers as well.  
"Fine," I sighed, "But you're going to think it's dumb. You don't want to hear about my boy issues. This is what I have girl friends for."  
All three of them looked at each other and smiled, "Oooooh, boys!"  
"Do tell," Harry smiled making himself comfortable next to me with Danny on the other side and Tom on the floor.  
I rolled my eyes, "Guys. This is serious. Do you want to know or not?"  
"Yes yes." Danny nodded, "But make it quick, we have band practice in less than an hour and then we're going to go check out that house again."  
"So who is it?" Tom asked me. They were such girls.  
"Dougie," I mumbled, barely audible.  
"You're going to have to speak up Shay," Harry told me, a smile playing on his lips.  
"It's Dougie, okay?" I told them, "Are you happy? And ever since we left for Bolton a few months back after...well...yeah...that happened, I liked him. A lot. And I thought he liked me too but apparently he's just a flirt because now he's with Leah or whatever the hell her name is and he's forgotten about me! It's like I don't even matter anymore! I mean, we can still be friends can't we? But no. You wanna know what he introduced me as? He said, 'This is my best friend's_little sister_,' So what, I'm not his friend anymore? I'm just a stupid little kid." I caught my breath, I had been talking too fast.  
"But it isn't like it matters. Because I was stupid for thinking I had a chance. He'd never look at me twice." I sighed.  
"Dougie?" Danny asked. Wow, was he slow.  
"Yes Danny. Your best friend." I told him, making it clear.  
"Aw, come on, Shay. Don't say that. You still matter to him." Harry told me, disregarding Danny's stupid question.  
"Not really," I sighed.  
"Shay, don't think he'd never look at you twice. I mean, Dougie's just really thick is all. He doesn't know a good thing when he has it." Tom told me, "I mean, your brother would murder me if I pulled anything on you," - I laughed - "But I think Dougie would be good for you. Right Danny?"  
He looked angry at first. Like he didn't like the fact that I was madly in love with his best friend. But then his expression softened, "Yeah. Tom's right."  
"Well, I'm glad you care and all," I said, "But he doesn't care about me anymore. He's forgotten me. He's popular now. Famous. So I give up." My voice cracked a bit. I had been thinking about giving up on him, but actually saying it out loud seemed to make it hurt worse. "So are you guys happy now?"  
"No," Danny said, "I didn't know you were so upset about this."  
"Yeah, me either." Tom agreed, "But don't cry."  
"He's just a guy," Harry told me.  
"He's not just a guy," I disagreed, "He was my best friend. And now he's gone."  
Harry wrapped his arms around me, and so did Danny. Tom got up off the floor and hugged us too. I laughed and wiped my eyes, "Thanks guys."  
"Do you want us to beat Doug up for you?" Tom asked me. I laughed through my tears. "No. No don't do that. It's fine."  
"Alright." Danny smiled, "Well, we're headed to his house now for practice. Call if you need anything. And don't think so much, okay? Don't worry so much. Things will turn out okay."  
"Thanks Danny." I said, "Bye guys."  
"Bye Shay," Harry waved, "And remember. If you want me to beat him up, I gladly will."  
"But then you'll be out of a bassist," I reminded him.  
A stupid, hurtful, utterly gorgeous bassist.  
I hate it that I love you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Fix This.  
Dougie**

_One, two, three, four!_  
Danny counted us in and in seconds his guitar exploded into the intro of our new song "That Girl." We were in Tom's basement with the massive audience of Tom's girlfriend, and Leah. I jumped up and down playing each note like it was the last I'd ever play. Tom and I leaned into the mike.  
_She's amazing. I can't believe you got that girl. She's amazing..._

Leah and Giovanna dances happily in their seats and watched us. I couldn't believe that this tiny audience of two could soon be two thousand! Once we get our house and into a recording studio...

_Dude it's such a pity and I'm sorry that you lost that girl. And I'm sorry that you lost thaat...  
Girl._

The two girls started clapping.  
"That was amazing! You guys are so good!" They told us. Danny smiled and out his guitar down, "Thanks."  
I made my way over to them and sat on the old couch that was down their and my lips soon found their way to Leah's.  
"Guys, I'm getting something to drink. You want anything?" Tom asked.  
"Sure," I heard Harry say, "I'll help you. Doug you want anything?"  
I didn't answer. Their footsteps went up the stairs and the door shut behind them. I heard Danny in the background messing with the amps and playing a few chords on his guitar. Giovanna had gone up the stairs with Tom and Harry. I wasn't paying much attention to anything right now except the girl I was with. Her hand was behind my head, running her fingers through my hair. My arm was around her waist. Her lips parted and...  
"Dougie?" A thick Bolton accent asked. I tried to ignore him, but I could feel him standing next to the couch. "Doug.....Mate, seriously....Dougie!"  
I pulled away from Leah and looked up at him, "What?"  
"Listen, mate, you and I need to talk." he said, crossing his arms. I looked from him, to Leah, then back up to him. "Now!" he told me. I looked back at Leah to tell her I was sorry, but Danny grabbed my arm and dragged me off the couch and into the corner.  
"Dude, seriously..." I said when he pulled me over there.  
"'Dude seriously...' he mocked, "Dougie! What the hell?"  
"What!?" I asked, "Honestly, what am I doing wrong? Can't a guy kiss a girl?"  
"Dougie! You are so thick!" Danny told me.  
"Thick? How am I thick? Danny, check it out, okay? A fit girl actually likes me. I got the girl for once Danny." I told him. That wasn't entirely true. I mean, I did get the girl once....Shay. Even just thinking her name felt like a punch in the stomach. I thought I had her once. But...I don't really know how she felt about me. And if Danny knew he'd kill me._ I finally got the girl that wasn't off limits_, I specified in my head.  
"I know, Dougie. And I'm happy for you, okay?" he said. He didn't sound like he meant it.  
"But what?" I asked him. "Danny, things are finally going my way for once! Ever since that incident with Charlie my life has been one fucked up mess and now things are finally going my way!"  
"And what about the girl sitting at home right now with a broken heart, huh?!" he screamed at me."What about her...?"  
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. Danny kept talking, "So while you're over there pulling some fit girl, I hope you keep that girl in the back of your mind. Because while your life is perfect, hers has become a living hell."  
I picked my head up out of my hands, "Danny I-"  
"Save it," he held his hands up, "Tell this to my sister. Not me."  
"Danny, I liked her! I really did. But I thought you-"  
"You thought I'd kill you for being with her?" he guessed, "Well truth be told I would have. But for some reason you make her happy. and with you out of her life she's liked you a lot Dougie, but more importantly you were her best friend. I can't do anything okay? You started all of it. So fix this."  
Danny walked away and left to go find Tom and Harry. I fell down onto the couch with my head in my hands. How could I let this happen?  
"Dougie..." Leah put her arm around me. I picked my head up, "Listen, I have to go, Leah. There's something I need to take care of."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 pt. 1 - Second Chance?  
Dougie**

I ran out the door and up the street. Tom's house was only a few blocks from Danny's so it shouldn't take me too long to get there. I was so dumb. I was absolutely blind to the fact that Shay felt the same way about me. I probably just ruined my chance forever.  
I ran up the porch steps and to the front door.  
"Shayna!" I pounded on it and waited. No answer. "Shay answer the door! I know you're in there!"  
I waited a few seconds, then a white piece of paper with black writing on it showed up in front of the window. It read '_Go Away.'_  
"Shay I'm sorry! Let me talk!" I begged pounding on the door again. The paper disappeared, and soon another one was at the window. _'I don't care.'_  
"Shay please!" I was doing all I could not to get down on my hands and knees and break down crying.  
_'You ruined your chance. Sorry'_  
And the blinds shut. I wasn't about to give up on her. There was no way. I was going to fix this even if it took me years. I needed my best friend back. I needed Shay back.  
Now, I had gone on enough dates to see sappy love movies that I knew exactly how I was going to fix this. I walked around to the back of the house. Through Shay's window, I could see a light on. I ran to the driveway and grabbed a few stones, then lightly threw one up to her window. It bounced off it and fell back down to the ground. I tossed another one. And another one. I saw her shadow moving towards the window and my heart quickened. The blinds opened and she pushed the window open, her head sticking out, "What do you want? Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you."  
"Shay!" I shouted, "Please just listen to me!"  
"Why should I?" she asked me, "Where were you when I needed you, huh? I've had your back every time you needed me and then what do you do? You ditch me. You forget me."  
"I know!" I told her, "And I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry okay? You didn't deserve any of that. I was a jerk. I was worse than a jerk, and I know that. I was the biggest asshole out there and nothing can change that. Nothing can change the things I did, not even these words. But I want to try. I want to try everything I can to get you to even think about forgiving me because you're too good a friend to just let go."  
"You're right." she said simply, "You were an asshole."  
"I know," I sighed.  
"And nothing is going to change that. I'm tired of putting myself through hell for you." she told me. "I'm tired of waiting around for you, Dougie."  
She shut the window.  
"Shayna!" I screamed. She didn't answer. My knees met the gravel and my head fell into my hands. I felt pathetic and I probably should. I deserved that and I knew it. I don't know why I thought she'd give me another chance. I was just giving myself false hope.  
The sun was beginning to go down, and I was sure the guys still wanted to rehearse. I picked myself off the ground and I started walking.

**Chapter 8 pt. 2 - Second Chance.  
Shay**

I slammed my window shut and flopped down on my bed, my pillow case soaking with tears. The look on his face was pure pain and I was the one who did that to him. But I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I couldn't keep trying to convince myself he liked me and that he wanted me, not that other girl. I was putting myself through too much, and as bad as it hurt I knew I needed to let go. I just never thought it would hurt this bad.  
I turned up my stereo to try and drown out the pain, but it didn't work. I was still a mess. I had already taken a shower and put on sweats, but even that didn't make me feel any better. I hate you Dougie Poynter.  
Of course, we all know that's a lie.  
Because I was absolutely in love with him.  
That's why this hurt so bad.  
I checked the clock. I figured Danny wouldn't be home for a while. I was stuck here alone to wallow in my self pity all night long.  
I heard more tapping at my window. Not again! The kid is going to shatter the glass by throwing stones up here. I decided not to answer it. He wasn't going to get the satisfaction of knowing I have to see him. I'm not going to answer.  
And the tapping stopped. Good, I thought to myself. I was getting better at this.  
I flopped back down on my bed and stared at my ceiling. So this is what it's coming to, then? Some life I had.  
Then there was knocking at my door. No one was home, were they? I got up and crossed my bedroom then opened the door.  
_"I swear that I can go on forever again.  
Please Let me know that my one bad day will end.  
I will go down as your lover. Your friend.  
Give me your lips. And with one kiss we begin"_  
The soft voice filled the room. A hurt voice. A voice filled with utter innocence.  
_"Are you afraid of being alone? 'Cause I am. I'm lost without you.  
Are you afraid of leaving tonight? 'Cause I am. I'm lost without you."_  
I stood there in complete shock. I didn't know what to say. Tears welled up in my eyes as I continued to stare at that beautiful blonde boy in my doorway. That boy that held me heart. He grabbed my hand.  
"You said you were tired of waiting around for me. But you don't have to wait for what you already have."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 - An Unfortunate Consequence  
Shay**

I stared at the angel in my doorway. He gave me a crooked grin. One I couldn't turn down. "Am I forgiven yet?"  
I fell into his chest and tears soaked through his white t-shirt, "Of course you are." I smiled through my tears. He kissed the top of my head, "Thank you." he whispered.  
I pulled away from him and turned bitter again, "But what about Leah?"  
"Shay," he sighed, "Leah was a mistake. A huge mistake. I've never loved anyone but you. I got too caught up in the fame and I was stupid and I'm sorry. I was so so stupid."  
"Yeah. You were," I smiled wiping my eyes.  
"Can't you still love a stupid boy?" he asked me, grinning cheekily.  
"You don't give me much of a choice." I told him as he wrapped his muscular arms around me. I buried my face in his chest, "I love you Dougie."  
"I know," he whispered kissing my hair, "I love you too."  
"You should probably get back to rehearsal," I sighed as I pulled away. He nodded, "Probably."  
"See you later," I said, "Oh yeah. Before you go, I meant to tell you that my birthday party is this weekend and I'd love for you to come."  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he told me as his disappeared out of my room.

The weekend came fast. In that week, the band found a house and began moving in. By Friday afternoon, Danny was moving the last of his things.  
"Aw, don't cry, Shay." Danny told me, shoving his things in the car, "I'm just a few blocks away and you can come over whenever you want. I'm sure the guys would like that."  
"I'm gonna miss you," I told him fighting tears.  
"We aren't that far. Come over any time you want okay? Whenever you like, just walk in." He hugged me.  
"I'm holding that against you," I laughed.

My party was Saturday night. Harry called before I left.  
"Hello?" I asked. He didn't usually call me for anything.  
"Hey! Happy birthday Shay!" he told me, "Listen, bad news. Fletch and Jason need me and Tom in the studio tonight. We can't make it to the party. I'm really really sorry."  
"Oh, don't worry about it," I told him, truely meaning it, "It's fine."  
"Save some cake for me, okay?" he said. "Have a good time."  
"Thanks Harry." I smiled and hung up. I left my house around 6. My party was being held at this reception hall, where wedding receptions and things like that were usually held. My parents wanted to throw me an amazing party. I think they were trying to make up for the fact that Danny was moving out by throwing me this party. I wasn't complaining.  
The party started off great. I greeted all my friends as they came in, but I never saw Dougie. I made my way around the hall a few times but never saw him. Soon it was going on 8:00 and he wasn't anywhere to be found.  
"Shay what's wrong?" Sasha asked me above the music.  
"Nothing. I...I'm just trying to find someone," I told her looking around.  
"You sure you're okay? You don't seem to be having a good time," Caitlin said as she continued dancing.  
"No, no I'm fine really. I'll...I'll be right back." I told them. I went out into the hallway and sat against the wall. Why wouldn't he come? I didn't get how he could do this to me. But then part of me was worried. Did something happen?  
I was tired of waiting. I got up, grabbed my jacket, and made my way to the bus stop at the end of the street. I rode the empty bus to the McFLY house. I knew Dougie probably hadn't moved in yet, but maybe if Harry and Tom had gotten home already they'd know where he was. Tom's car was in the driveway so I had assumed they had just gotten home. I pounded on the door. Harry opened it.  
"Shayna? Why aren't you--"  
"Where's Dougie?" I asked him.  
"He uh...he isnt...Dougie's..." Harry looked back at Tom, who was lying shirtless on the couch strumming carelessly at his guitar, for backup. Tom got up.  
"Shay, Dougie isn't here." he told me nervously.  
"You're lying." I told them as I tried going through the door. I didn't get anywhere but into Harry's arms. "Let me in!"  
"Shay, he isn't here," Harry insisted.  
"Then let me inside!" I screamed, "You guys know where he is! Why won't you just tell me!"  
"Shay please." Harry said quietly.  
"Harry! Just let me in," I said as a sob ripped through my chest, "Please Harry."  
"Harry..." Tom started.  
"Tom, I don't want her getting hurt. I don't want to see her hurt," he whispered, barely audible.  
"Me either, but what can we do?" tom whispered back.  
"You can let me in!" I ripped free from Harry's arms and ran up the stairs. "Shay!" they shouted after me. I didn't turn back. I checked every door at the top of the stairs. Most of them were open, and the room was empty. Then I came to the door at the end of the hallway. The door was closed but there was muffled noises coming from inside. I pounded on the door and waited. No answer. I knocked again and heard shuffling feet, then the door opened.  
On any regular day, the next thing I saw would have made me lose my breath and probably have a heart attack. But at this exact moment, I was too upset to see anything. Dougie opened the door just enough to let his head and bare chest peek out. I started past him at the girl in his bed.  
"Shay?" he asked messing with his already messy blonde hair. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even see straight. Tears blurred my vision.  
"Dougie," the girl whined, "Come on."  
"H-h-hang on." he told her without turning around, "Shay what are you doing here?"  
"What am I doing here?" I asked him, "What about you? What are you doing here!? You don't know what day it is do you?"  
"It's...err...Saturday," he answered in a gruff voice. Then his expression fell. "Oh...Listen Shay, I."  
"Save it, Poynter!" I shouted, "I don't want to fucking hear it okay? Go back to getting laid and just leave me alone at my party, miserable. I don't care. You know if you didn't want to come you could have said so," I cried.  
"Shayna, please just let me -- "  
"No." I sighed, "You said you wouldn't miss it for the world Dougie. Well apparently whats going on here is a lot more entertaining to you then some little kid party would ever be. So just continue and pretend I was never here."  
I turned on my heal and ran.  
"Shayna!" he shouted as I flew down the steps. I wasn't ever looking where I was going so I shouldn't have been surprised when I slammed into what seemed like a wall. But when I looked up, it wasn't a wall. It was Harry. He wrapped me in his arms, and looked almost hurt, "I am so sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 -Mistakes.  
Dougie. (A/N this is what was happening at the same time Shay was at her party.)**

The days seemed to all blur together that week after rehearsal. Danny was cool with me since I decided to set things straight with you. You seemed to forgive me enough too, so my life was about as balanced as it was going to get at this point.  
And then I got the call from Tom. The call that was saying we had gotten the house and I could move in anytime I wanted.  
"No way! Dude, that's great!" I told him, "But...uh...I gotta clear it up with my parents first."  
"Sure," he said, "That's cool. Just come out here whenever you can, the house is great."  
I sighed. My parents.

"Absolutely not." my father told me.  
"Dad, why!?" I asked him, "Don't you care that this is a major opportunity for me and the guys? Don't you get it?"  
"No, I understand," he told me, "And I really am excited for you. But you can go over there to rehearse and to hang out. But you aren't moving out at age fifteen. There's no way."  
"Mom!" I turned to my mother, but she just looked at the floor. "Mom tell him he isn't being fair! Tell him I should be allowed to move in with the band!"  
"Dougie...he's right." she whispered. I stood up and stormed up the stairs, "I hate you guys..." I mumbled.  
And then the fighting started up again. It was worse than before. I tired to drown it out, but it didn't work. I couldn't exactly tell what they were fighting about, but I got the gist of it. It was about me.  
My mom really thought it would be a good idea to let me move out, after all it was only a few blocks away. But my dad wouldn't budge. And the fact he was out getting drunk didn't help matters when my mom tried to reason with him.  
By the weekend I had eventually gotten so fed up with the entire thing that I decided I needed some way out of it. My phone rang that weekend, I wasn't exactly sure what day it was. Every day kind of ran together.  
"Hello?" I asked tiredly.  
"Dougie, it's Leah. Listen, you seemed kind of upset the other day at practice. Is everything all right?" she asked me.  
"You know what....no. It's not." I answered truthfully.  
"You want to talk about it?" she asked, leaving me a choice, not forcing me to say anything.  
"No. Actually, I want to go out tonight. Get my mind off some things. Care to join me?" I asked her. She laughed, "Sure Dougie. What time should I pick you up?" we both laughed at this considering she was the only one of us who could drive for the time being.  
"Anytime you want. Sooner would be better, though." I told her.  
Leah came around my house at 5. Her parents weren't home so we decided we would go back to her place for a while. She invited a few other kids, some people I didn't know. I didn't care though. It wasn't until around 6 that some kids pulled out a few bottles of beer.  
"Thirsty, Doug?" One of the kids asked me. I nodded, "Sure."  
_Dougie, don't do this. _A voice in the back of my head told me. It sounded a lot like you, Shay. I shook it out of my head and took a sip. The voice kept talking. Telling me not to do this. Telling me it was a mistake. I figured a few more beers and the voice will fade.  
It never did.  
After a while I was pretty out of it. I was having a good time, or so I thought, but the voice in my head never really faded. Leah had a few drinks as well, but not nearly as many as me. She was probably the only one of us there who hadn't completely lost their mind to alcohol. But in any case, she didn't try to stop any of the dumb stunts I decided to pull. She didn't try to stop me as I shoved my tongue halfway down her throat. For all I knew she wanted me to.  
It didn't hit me until later that she was taking advantage of me.  
"Come on," I mumbled into her mouth, the two of us were lying on the couch, "I know somewhere we can go,"  
We walked back to her car and I directed her back to the McFLY house. no one was home there. They shouldn't be home for a while either.  
We both stepped out of the car, our lips glued to each other. She fall back against the front door and I blindly tried to fit the key in the lock. When I had it, I twisted it hard to the side, then opened the door. I led her up the stairs and into the spare bedroom. The room I was supposed to move into. I was too far gone to even remember I wasn't supposed to be here. I was too far gone to remember I had somewhere else to be.  
Because at the time, my only goal was to get some action that night. My only goal was to drown my problems in booze and get laid. I never once thought of you.  
Leah fell back onto the perfectly made bed pulling me down on top of her. Her hands found my belt pulling it through eat loop, then unbuttoning the three quarter pants I had always worn.  
_Dougie stop!_ you warned me in the back of my mind, _It doesn't have to be like this!_  
All I could think of was being the friction in her jeans. I ignored you. Soon her soft hands were on my boxers and she pulled them to my ankles. I kicked them off. Suddenly it hit me. Until that exact moment, I didn't know what I was doing. And then the situation hit me like a wave. I was completely naked on top of some girl I have barely known. But you know what? I continued anyway, despite what you were saying.  
The door opened downstairs. Harry and Tom were home. Before I could say anything, The door opened and Harry's head peeked in.  
"Oh, shit sorry Dougie!" he slammed the door. I rolled my eyes, "Sorry bout that."  
"No worries," she smiled. Her hand tangled into my hair.  
Soon, there was more talking downstairs. I tried to ignore it. I tried so hard to just live the moment and not think of anything else. But there was pounding on the door. That I couldn't ignore. I sighed and pushed myself off the bed, "Sorry. Hold on."  
I made my was across the room and opened the door a small crack. The light flooded in, hurting my eyes. It took a while for them to adjust. And when they did I saw you standing there, crying. I ran my hands through my hair, "Fuck,"  
And you were gone before I could apologize.  
I should have listened to you. I was so far gone that I didn't hear anything you said. I was stupid enough to wait until you saw for yourself what I had been doing. You didn't deserve to see that. You didn't deserve any of it.  
There was no way you were going to forgive me for this.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 - Done.  
Shay**

I cried into Harry's chest and he kissed my head, "I'm sorry." he kept repeating like it was all his fault. I tried to tell him not to be sorry, that he couldn't have done anything about it, but I was crying too hard. I couldn't catch my breath.  
"Shh, Shay please stop crying. Please." he begged. I tried to calm down but I couldn't. Tom had gone upstairs to talk to Dougie. I hoped he killed him. I honestly hoped that Tom would kill Dougie. I wish I had the strength to open my mouth and tell Harry I wanted to take him up on that offer to beat Dougie up.  
"Shayna," Harry whispered, putting his finger under my chin and lifting my gaze to meet his. Tears streamed down my face and my entire body shook with sobs. Harry looked so hurt by this. "Shay I'm sorry."  
"Quit... s-s-saying ....that," I managed to say, "It....wasn't....your...f-f-fault."  
"I know I know," he sighed, "I just wish...." he let the thought trail off and wrapped me tightly in his arms again. He was just a big teddy bear. The exact guy I needed at that time.  
"Come here," he grabbed my hand and led me to their couch. I sat down.  
"I'm gonna make you a cup of hot chocolate, okay? And popcorn. And you and me are going to sit down and watch a movie and forget about tonight," he offered.  
"I don't think that's possible," I told him as new tears filled my eyes.  
"Can I try?" he asked, "I hate seeing you like this, I really do. Please let me try."  
"Sure," I sighed and laid my head down on the arm of the couch. Whatever made Harry happy. Because God knows it will only make me feel worse. My head was beginning to hurt. My whole body felt sore like it does when you have a fever and my eyes hurt from crying. There was no sign of stopping any time soon.  
"Here Shay," Harry gave me a weak smile and handed me a mug with a big smiley face on it.  
"Thanks," I tried to mean it. "Harry, I'm not really thirsty. Or hungry." I told him honestly as I set the mug on the coffee table. Harry took a seat next to me and wrapped his big arms around me again. I closed my eyes tight and leaned against his chest. Sobs ripped through my chest and my whole body started shaking again.  
"Shh, you're gonna be okay." he whispered, "I'm sorry, Shay. Sorry.  
"Don't be sorry." I cried, "You have no reason to be sorry. What happened tonight wasn't your fault. Dougie's the idiot. Don't be sorry, Harry. You're doing all you can right now. So thank you."  
"I phoned your brother for you," Harry told me after a few minutes on silence, "I figured he and your family would want to know why you weren't at you party."  
"You told them?" I asked. He smiled, "No just Danny. Your parents don't know. He's covering for you."  
"Thanks," I sniffled. We heard yelling upstairs. I figured it was Tom. Leah had snuck out the door while me and Harry were on the couch. She shot us a dirty look and Harry flicked her off, "Fuck off, princess," he told her. I had to laugh.  
"You gonna be okay?" he asked when I stopped crying.  
"Probably not," I told him, "But I'm done crying if that's what you mean. For now anyway."  
"I'm sorry you're hurt," Harry told me, hurt coming from his own eyes.  
"Me too," I sighed, "But I'll live. My hearts still beating, right? Though I suppose it would hurt less if it wasn't."  
"You loved him a lot didn't you?" Harry asked me. I nodded. "He was my best friend."  
"He was a good guy." Harry agreed. The same keyword was used in both of those sentences. _Was._  
We were both quiet again. Harry shook his head, "I don't know how he could do this to you. How he could hurt you like this."  
"Because he's an arrogant selfish asshole, that's how." I said, fighting angry tears.  
"As much as I agree with you, I think you're being a little unfair to Doug." Harry sighed.  
"Unfair?" I asked, "Unfair!? I'm being _unfair?!_. Harry be realistic. What did I ever do to him!?"  
"Nothing," Harry told me, "But....Doug didn't know what he was doing."  
"That's his own fucking fault for getting drunk, then." I folded my arms.  
"Yeah, I guess so." Harry breathed. I know he was only trying to stick up for Dougie, and I could understand that. But I was still pissed.  
Soon we heard footsteps on the stairs. Tom came down first looking frustrated as ever. Dougie trailed behind him in nothing but a pair of shorts looking completely out of it. The first thing I noticed were the tears running down his face.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 - Sorry.  
Dougie.**

I fell back onto my bed with my head in my hands. Leah was still lying there next to me. "Dougie..."  
"Shut up for a minute," I told her and closed my eyes. I was absolutely dead. I didn't know what to do. I fucked up bad - no pun intended.  
"Dougie if you'll just..." she started again.  
"I said shut up!" I shouted back at her. I usually wasn't this harsh to anyone but in the state I was in she was lucky I wasn't beating the crap out of stuff. Tears stung in my eyes as I realized what I had just done. I didn't know how to fix this and part of me figured I never would be able to. I started talking to myself, pacing the room, "God I'm such a fucking idiot! Why, Dougie?! Why did you do this? You know why? 'Cause you're a complete moron!"  
"Doug are you okay?" Leah asked quietly.  
"Am I okay?" I turned to her, "No I'm not okay! Look at me! Do I look okay to you!?"  
She was silent as I kept pacing. There was pounding on my door again, "Doug!"  
"What?" I asked. It was Tom. He opened the door, his eyes half closed, "Put some clothes on and let me know when it's safe to come inside, we need to talk."  
"sure, sure," I nodded and pulled on my pants, "Come in."  
Tom wandered back into the room and looked at Leah, "You. Put on some clothes and get the fuck out, kay?"  
She did what he told her to.  
"Dougie," Tom started.  
"Tom, listen I didn't know what I was doing okay? I was -- " I tried to explain but Tom shoved me onto my bed. "Just quit talking and listen for a second, okay?"  
I nodded.  
"While you were off getting wasted and fucking this chick, do you have any idea what kind of things you were putting Shay through?" Tom asked me. I stared at the ground, "No," I muttered.  
"Dougie, you should see her down there. I've never seen her like this before. Harry's trying to get her to at least stop crying but...Dougie, I'm sorry, but you screwed up."  
"I know," I muttered again. "And I'm sorry."  
"You're sorry?" he asked, "Dougie don't tell me you're sorry! Fix this!"  
"I can't," I sighed.  
"Probably not!" he shouted, "Because in all honesty I wouldn't forgive you if I were her. You fucked up so many times these past few weeks I don't know how she can still look at you."  
"Some pep talk you're giving me," I fired back, "Tom, just shut the hell up you have no idea what kind of shit I've been put through lately!" I screamed, "You have no right to tell me you wouldn't forgive me! You have no idea what my life is like at home! So don't tell me I'm screwed up!"  
"It's the truth Doug!"  
"Tom what the hell?" I shouted, "I thought you were my friend."  
"That's what Shay thought about you," Tom sighed. "I'm basically done here," he turned to leave.  
"Get fucked, asshole." I muttered. Next thing I knew Tom wheeled around and his fist connected with my cheekbone. We both just stood there, stunned.  
"Dougie I-" Tom started from me to his fist. I brought my hand up to my eye. It was already starting to get puffy. I fell back onto my bed and I felt a drop of water fall onto my arm. It took me a minute to realize I was crying.  
"Fucking hell, Dougie I didn't mean to hit you that hard." Tom told me, sitting next to me, "Don't cry about it."  
I shook my head, "I'm not crying 'cause of that you moron." I was still pissed at him.  
"Then why are you..."  
"You want to know why, Tom!?" I screamed, standing up again, "Because my life has turned into a living hell, thats why! Do you have any idea what it's like to have your parents fight every night and know that they're fighting about you. Do you have any clue how bad that hurts?"  
"Doug I'm sorry I didn't know..." he started.  
"No you didn't know, Tom!" I shouted, "You don't get it!"  
"I know Dougie, and I'm sorry," Tom told me. He sincerely meant it.  
"No." I shook my head and started crying again, "You don't get it Tom. You don't get what it's like to have your dad not love you." My voice cracked on the word love.  
"Doug don't say that."  
"It's true," I wiped my face with my hand, just smearing the mess of tears and snot across my face. I didn't care. "He really doesn't love me. I thought a few beers and some friends would get my mind off all this but all it did was get me into deeper shit. I'm sorry I yelled at you."  
"I'm sorry I punched you," Tom sighed. "You gonna be okay?"  
"My eye will heal, if that's what you mean. Everything else..." I shook my head.  
Tom laughed lightly trying to lighten the mood, "Look on the bright side. You got laid for once."  
I laughed and wiped my eyes, "Yeah, this is true. Not like it matters though."  
_  
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters at all.  
When all your dreams are shattered, everything is beautiful._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 - Gone for Good.  
Dougie**

So there I was, face to face with the one thing I had to fix. It was like trying to rebuild a house after a hurricane using only the original pieces of the house that were left - virtually impossible. Tom left the room still a bit upset. Harry stood up hesitantly. "You okay?" he asked Shay. She wiped her tears and nodded. Harry followed Tom out of the room. I rubbed the back of my neck and stared at the ground.  
"I think we need to talk," I told Shay. She was silent, so I started walking towards her.  
"You, quit moving. Stop right there. I barely want to look at you let alone be in the same room as you." she told me. I did what I was told.  
"Listen, there's no way I can even begin to tell you how sorry I am," I started.  
"And there's no way I'd even be able to listen to it." she told me.  
"Could you let me try?" I asked quietly. My voice was hoarse from crying and I knew I probably looked awful. I didn't care.  
"Go ahead, but it won't change a thing." she said coldly as she crossed her arms. I don't know why this was a surprise to me. I knew she wasn't going to listen to me. There really was no point in trying. But I had to do something.  
"Shay, I didn't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. I really wasn't. I was drunk and..."  
"Remember the last time you got drunk?" she asked me in a shaky voice, "Remember that time in Bolton."  
Yeah, I remembered. I spent the whole night bent over the toilet with her trying to help me. I wouldn't let her help me. I spent that entire night sick and singing Simple Plan songs like a tone deaf kid.  
Yeah. I remembered.  
"And remember how you promised you weren't going to do anything stupid again?" she asked me, "Guess what? This was beyond stupid."  
"I know," I sighed, "I was a complete moron. I was a jerk. I was an inconsiderate, lowlife, son of a bitch asshole...."  
"You know thinking of every cuss word isn't going to make me hate you any less," Shay told me. I whispered, "I know. And you shouldn't."  
"And I won't," she told me, raising her voice, "Is this how you solve things? By drinking? Any time you have too much on your mind you just drown in with alcohol don't you!? You are exactly like your father."  
That hurt. I honestly would have rather taken three more punches to the face than to have heard that remark. I clenched my hands into fists. She was lucky I didn't hit her. I took a deep breath and spoke very slowly.  
"Don't you ever tell me that again. You can call me any bad name you can think of for as long as you want but don't _ever_ tell me I'm exactly like my father."  
"Yeah?" she smirked, folding her arms across her chest, "Well it's the truth. You are going to turn out just like him."  
"Take it back!" I shouted as tears stung in my eyes. Harry was back in the room by this this time, he was holding both my arms to keep me from doing something I'd regret.  
"Why should I?" she asked me, "Why should I take anything back? You're the asshole."  
"I know I'm an asshole, okay!?" I shouted, "I know that's the truth. I'm a terrible person but don't ever tell me that I'm like my dad. I will never be my dad! Don't ever say that again, got it?!"  
She just stood there silently as tears fell down my cheeks, "Dougie, Dougie, Calm down." Harry whispered, "Please mate. Calm down."  
I just stood there and cried like a little kid. Shay eyed me a little strangely and she and Harry shared a look. I fell to a pathetic heap in the floor and just cried. Harry took a seat next to me. I knew he felt kind of awkward, it was awkward whenever a guy cries.  
"D-Dougie, you'll be okay." Harry told me, "Please don't cry. Come on man."  
"Just leave him," I heard Shay say, "He deserves everything he's getting. He deserves everything he's ever going to get."  
I pushed myself off the floor and stared her straight in the eyes. I didn't care that I could barely see because tears clouded my vision. I didn't care that I probably looked like a first grader who didn't know how to properly blow his nose. I just started at her, my expression hard. "You know what? You're exactly right. I don't deserve to have your forgiveness. Keep making me feel bad, I deserve that too. I'm gone. It's as simple as that. You want me gone, so I can leave. Consider me a thing of your past. It will be as if I never even existed." I turned on my heel to leave, "Oh yeah. Happy birthday."

I walked the entire way home in the dark. I felt pathetic and I figured I did the best thing I could do. Take myself out of her life forever. And I would. I will never make her go through what she had to go through tonight ever again.  
I pushed my back door open and wandered into my kitchen to find something to drink. No one was home yet. I checked my fridge. There was a note on it. I pulled it off thinking that my mom probably just left a note telling me that she was at the store or something. But when I read it, that wasn't the case at all.  
I thought back to what Shay said. How I deserved everything I'd ever get. I don't think anyone deserved what I just got. I dropped the piece of paper and flew back out the door.

Because that one piece of paper that fell to the floor was the last thing of my father I'd ever see. He decided he would pull himself out of my life just like I had done to Shay. He was gone. And my mom didn't even know yet.  
I think I knew exactly how Shay felt when she saw me shagging Leah that night.  
It's not a fun feeling.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 - Never See Me Again.  
Dougie.**

I just ran, although I didn't exactly know where I was running to. Out of habit I ran to the Jones house. But I knew that was a bad idea for two reasons. One, because no one was home and two, even if they were home Shay hates me. And I promised her I would be out of her life for good. And I meant that. She didn't need me and I didn't deserve her. So I was done. At least one of our lives will be okay. As soon as I ran past the house, a car pulled into the driveway. I assumed they were just getting home from the party. I picked up my pace to make sure they didn't see me.  
It was pitch black out so I ran in the light of the streetlamps. I was nearing the McFLY house but I was sure all the guys were pretty pissed at me as well. I was on the street of the house by the time I lost my breath. I crumpled into a ball in the street under the perfect circle from the light post that illuminated the road. It was useless running. As fast as I wanted to run all my problems were going to catch up with me in the end. I was too stunned to even cry at first. I'd cried enough for that night. So I just laid there. With any luck a car would come speeding down the road and crush me. I probably deserved that too.  
"Dude, what the...Dougie?" I knew that voice. That stupid dopey accent was the voice of none other than Danny. He was probably here to yell at me for what I had done to his sister tonight just like everyone else. I deserved that too.  
"Dougie, Dougie, Dougie, what are you doing, mate?" Danny asked as he got closer to me, an amused edge to his voice, "Napping in the streets there, buddy?"  
I didn't answer. I just let my body shake in time with my sobs. It was useless.  
"Doug?" he asked, concerned now, "Mate, what's wrong?" he knelt down beside me. "Dougie for God's sake, answer me!"  
I couldn't speak. I tried to, but all that came out of my mouth were more cries. I haven't cried in years. I didn't cry when I broke my wrist and I didn't even cry at my great aunt's funeral. But tonight I've done nothing but cry. Everything I knew was getting turned upside down.  
"Please don't cry," Danny said. It was probably the only thing he could think of to say, I'm sure him finding my lying here crying like a seven year old scared him. "Come on, get out of the street, come inside. Someone's gonna run you over."  
"Let em," I mumbled through my tears, "In fact, you do it. Get your car and run me over as many possible times as you can."  
"Dougie what the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, not in an angry voice, but a scared one. Almost as if he was going to break down himself, "I'm scared dude, tell me what happened."  
"Ask your sister." I told him, "After she explains then maybe you'll take me up on that offer to run me over again."  
"Doug, no matter what happened I'm not going to kill you," Danny said, laughing lightly, "Come on, get out of the road and tell me what happened, okay?" He grabbed my arm and helped me up, but I only walked far enough into the yard so I could fall back down into the grass again. Danny seemed to just go with it. He plopped himself down next to me.  
"Danny, I screwed up." I told him, I started talking fast, tripping almost every other word, "See, I made things right with your sister but then my mom and dad started fighting again and then I was upset so I got invited to go out tonight so I did and then I thought booze would make everything better but it didn't and it only got me into more trouble because--"  
"Slow down, slow down, buddy. I'm not going anywhere." Danny told me, putting his hand on my arm.  
I took a deep breath and continued, "So I was drunk and I took Leah back here and then before I knew it we were kinda....naked."  
"Kinda naked?" Danny laughed, then caught his breath and looked a bit disappointed, "Dougie.."  
"I know I know I know," I told him, "I know it was a mistake. And then...and then I completely forgot it was Shay's birthday and she must have come looking for me since I didn't show up. Well guess what? She found me."  
"Doug..." Danny didn't even know what to say to me. I closed my eyes tight and waited. With any luck he'd hit me hard enough to send me to the hospital.  
"What are you doing, mate?" Danny asked me. I opened my eye, "Aren't you gonna hit me?"  
"No I'm not going to hit you. It was a mistake man, we all make em. Besides if anyone gets to hit you it's gonna be Shay."  
"Too late, Tom already took care of that." I rolled my eyes. Danny let out a loud laugh.  
"You aren't mad at me?" I asked him. He shrugged, "I don't know I mean...I know I should be pissed at you but I'm not."  
I sat silently as the pain of my dad leaving washed over me again.  
"Doug, you aren't crying because of that are you?" he asked me. I shook my head and closed my eyes, sucking in a big breath of air. My voice was shaky, "Danny, my dad left."  
"When's he coming back?" he asked me. _Thick guitarist...._  
"Danny you don't get it," I whispered, "I mean he left. He left my mom and he left us. He isn't coming back."  
Danny's face fell, "Dougie I..." Tears formed in my eyes but I tried to blink them away before Danny noticed. Too late. He pulled me into a hug, his hand grabbing the hair on the back of my head. My face buried into his shoulder and I shut my eyes hoping that maybe when I opened them this world would be back to the way it should be.  
It didn't work.  
"I'm sorry," Danny whispered.  
"Hey what's going on?" another person asked. Tom.  
I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and sighed, "N-nothing."  
"You're taking this whole thing with Shay pretty rough aren't you?" Tom asked me. I just glared at him. "What?" he asked.  
"Mate," Danny shook his head, "That's not it."  
"No, go ahead, Tom. Yell at me some more please." I told him. "Hit me again to give me another black eye to match the one I already have. Kill me. Go ahead, mate. Kill me."  
"Dougie," Tom started. I pushed myself off the ground and turned to leave.  
"Dougie quit it. No one is going to kill you okay?" Danny told me. I just kept walking.  
"None of _you_ are going to kill me, you mean." I muttered to myself, "Which means I may have to take matter into my own hands."  
The second I got home, I realized at once that my mom still was out with my sister. Good. I walked into the bathroom and started searching the medicine cabinets. I looked through all the bottles until I found the one I was looking for.  
Sleeping Pills, it read. I always took these when I was sick but couldn't fall asleep. Enough of them should do fine. I poured them out onto the counter and counted them. There were at least fifteen. I wondered if that would be enough.  
I stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red from crying and my left eye was bruised and swollen. My hair was disheveled and I was still bare chested because I had left my shirt in the bedroom at the McFLY house.  
I picked up each pill one by one and stared at them all in my hand. I leaned my head back and dropped them into my mouth. I filled a cup with water and placed it to my mouth.  
This world will never have to see Dougie Poynter again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - Perfect Hell  
Dougie**

I knew the second I took that huge gulp of water, my life was going to end. I knew it was going to hurt people, but all in all I believed it would make a few lives a bit better. If only I had done this about a year ago. Charlie would still be alive.  
I sat back in my bedroom and waited for the poison to take effect. Nothing really happened at first. I felt tired, and kind of out of it. I yawned then pulled out my phone, remembering I had one thing I wanted to say before I was gone. I listened to the dial tone and yawned again as a wave of nausea crashed over me.  
"Hello?"  
"Tom?" I asked.  
"Hey, Doug, how are you, mate?" he asked me quietly.  
"Uh, I'm good I guess. Listen I just wanted to apologize for the shit that's happened tonight. It was out of line and I don't want you remembering me that way," I told him.  
"No, it's cool, I'm sorry too. Wait, remember you that way?" he asked confused.  
"Yeah," I sighed, "Tom you've been an awesome friend to me throughout the years. I wanted to say thanks. Tell Danny and Haz I say the same, I don't know if I really have the time to call them though."  
"Dougie," he asked slightly panicked, "What are you talking about."  
"You and me, mate." I told him, "It's been a good few years. As for the band, I'm sure you'll find another bassist and you guys are going to do great."  
"Dougie we aren't finding another bassist. You're our bassist!" he told me. I sat silently, "Dougie!" panic fell from his words.  
"Tommyboy, it's been good while it lasted. We had a great friendship, but all good things end sometime, right?" I was becoming redundant now and my head was throbbing, my stomach felt like it was flipping hundreds of times. "But...err the reason I called in the first place. Right," I reminded myself, "Just wanted to say goodbye Tom."  
"Dougie!" he screamed edging hysteria.  
"Dou-" I flipped my phone shut and fell back on my bed.  
The room started to spin and I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the visions that made me feel sick out of my head. I concentrated on my breathing, but my stomach kept flipping in my stomach, twisting into knots. I gripped my torso and curled up in a ball on my bed, groaning. No one was home to hear me, and I was thankful for that.  
Soon there was pounding on my downstairs door. Even if I wanted to open it, I wouldn't have been able to get up off my bed.  
"Let me in!" they shouted, "Doug!"  
It was Tom. I wanted to tell him it was unlocked, but I figured that he'd find that out on his own, soon enough.  
And he did. He burst through my door as if there was a fire. "Dougie, Dougie!" he shouted kneeling by my bed, "Doug what happened?"  
"I...I swallowed a buncha pills," I choked out.  
"Why!?" he screamed, his voice cracking.  
I tried to answer him but I couldn't. I got up off my bed and staggered into my bathroom, emptying my stomach.  
"Good, good, get everything out of there. Throw it all up," Tom said sitting next to me. I felt like my head was going to explode and my stomach was going o claw its way out of my body. Tom stood up and grabbed a cup off the counter, filling it with water, then shoving it at me. "Drink," he told me. I wouldn't take it. "Drink!" he shouted at me, shoving it in my face and practically pouring it down my throat. I swallowed enough of it, only to have it come back up again.  
Tom was crying by this time. "Why'd you do this to yourself, mate?"  
"I had to," I told him, my voice even, "I screwed up fate by being found innocent last year after I killed Charlie. I should be dead right now. And since I'm not I fucked up everyone else's life."  
"Doug, you didn't do anything wrong to anyone!" he told me, "Except yourself. Just sit there, I need to call Danny and Harry and tell them to get a car so we can take you to the hospital."  
"Don't you get it Tom?!" I screamed at him, "I'm supposed to be dead!"  
"Dougie," he started.  
"Just let me die Tom!" I screamed, my voice cracking as tears fell down my cheeks. I leaned my head against the wall and cried. "Please," I whispered, "Let me die."  
"Dougie, I'm not doing that to you, okay?" he said, "Just sit there and let me call Danny."  
I barely heard his conversation on the phone. I fought my way in and out of consciousness. In no time, Harry and Danny were in my bathroom as well.  
"Fuck Doug, you really messed yourself up this time didn't you?" I heard Harry say quietly. He grabbed my arm and tried to help me up, but I was just dead weight. He lifted me up and carried me to the car, laying me across the backseat. Danny sat next to me, with my feet in his lap. I completely blacked out sometime during that car ride.  
The next time I woke up I was in a hospital bed. I didn't see much because I could barely keep my eyes open. I wasn't even sure if there was anyone with me. I was back out of it in a matter of minutes.  
While I was out, I saw so many people inside my head. My mom and Jazzie, Danny, Tom and Harry. And Shay. The faces of my best friends. The faces of my family. The faces of people who cared. The people who would miss me.  
I made a big mistake.  
The other thing that happened while I was out was that I remember seeing this darkness. Nothing but pitch black. And it kept pressing down on top of me, trying to suffocate me. I pushed against it as hard as I could. I tried fighting it off but it came at me from all sides. I pushed against it for what seemed like hours and I thought about giving it up, But I couldn't let it win. I wouldn't die.  
"...too long. I can't take it." I heard voices fading in slowly.  
"Just give it time, Harry." another voice was saying.  
I tried opening my eyes, but that darkness was still on my face. I was still working on killing it up there. I fought against it as hard as I could and managed to open my eyes, one at a time.  
Danny, Harry and Tom were all standing in the room sharing worried looks.  
"Dougie!" the all screamed in relief. I just smiled really weakly, "Hey," my voice was hoarse and sore.  
A million voices came shouting at me at once.  
"I'm so glad you're okay, dude."  
"I was so scared!"  
"Don't ever fucking do that again!"  
I clearly picked out that last comment coming from Harry. It felt good to know my friends cared about me and were worried.  
"What happened?" I asked, barely even remembering the events that had occurred before this.  
"Mate, you overdosed on sleeping pills. You're in the hospital. You had to get your stomach pumped." Danny told me. I nodded, now I remembered.  
"Your mom and sister are getting something to eat right now. Do you want us to go get them?" Harry asked. I nodded, "Yeah, my mom's probably worried out of her mind."  
They left, and minutes later, my mom appeared with tears in her eyes, "How you feeling?"  
"Shitty," I groaned. She smiled slightly, she knew I had a bad mouth. Usually I was yelled at for it, but today she was just glad I was still breathing.  
Jazzie ran over to me and hugged me I could feel her tears soaking the ugly hospital gown I had on, "Please don't ever ever ever ever ever do that again," she whispered. I wrapped my arms around her, "I won't. I Promise."  
My mom sat down on the edge of my bed, "Dougie. Why'd you do it?" she asked.  
"Because," I said weakly. "After I got home and saw that dad left, my entire world just crumbled apart. I had enough."  
I started crying and my mom hugged me like she did when I was little after I had a nightmare. I closed my eyes and whispered, "I'm so sorry mom."  
"Don't be," she told me, "Shh."  
Jazzie crawled over beside me and I fell asleep in the arms of my family.

The next time I woke up, Danny was in the room. "Morning" he grinned with his mouth half full of a blueberry muffin.  
"Danny," I said, "How long was I asleep. After I...you know."  
"A week," he told me quietly, "We were all worried as hell, mate."  
"I know," I sighed, "I'm so sorry."  
"Anyway," he said shaking the depressing mood off, "There's someone who wants to see you."  
Danny disappeared and Shay took his place in my room. She stood against the wall, "Hi Dougie."  
"Hello," I said sadly.  
"Dougie," she inched towards my bed then sat on the side awkwardly, "Why'd you do it?"  
"Because that night my entire world fell apart. Do you know my parents fought every night about me?" I explained, "And then what I did to you. I figured I couldn't effectively take myself out of your life without taking myself out of the picture all together."  
"Dougie please don't ever feel like you have to kill yourself," she whispered, flinching at the word kill, "Please. I'm sorry for the things I said to you. You don't deserve any of this to happen to you. No one does."  
"Even if that's true," I told her, "I'm still not breaking my promise. Shay, today will be the last day you see me. I won't kill myself, but I will disappear from your life forever. I'll make it as though I never existed. It will kill me inside, but you can live a happy life that way. And then, when everything is going perfect in your life, maybe I'll pay a visit back to reality."  
"Dougie please don't do that," she lie down next to me and I wrapped my arms around her waist, "I don't want you out of my life."  
"You don't think you do, but I assure you once I'm gone your life will be so much brighter." I whispered, "Please trust me on this one. You want me to forgive you, I promise you I do. I'm not doing this because I don't love you, Shay. It's the exact opposite."  
"I don't understand," she whispered.  
"I love you so much that I would die for you. This is the second time I've come close to death and it's all for you. And I still love you. And even though being away from you will suck for me, you're going to heal just fine. I'm no good for you." I told her.  
"I wish it didn't have to end this way," you sighed into my chest. I played mindlessly with your hair. "Me either. But it'll all work out, you'll see. Your life will soon be perfect."  
"Sometimes perfection can be perfect hell," Shay whispered.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15pt.1 - Broken Promise  
Shay**

And Dougie didn't back down on his promise. The one promise I wish he would have broken. I didn't see him for literally months. I'd see him in the halls at school. I'd try to smile at him, but he'd only turn his head. Soon enough he took all new routes to his classes just to avoid me. I tried to follow him, just so I could see him. But it never worked. Every time I went to visit my brother at the McFLY house, Dougie disappeared. He's go to his room or just leave the house all together. The guys told me not to worry about it, that he'd come around one day. I didn't believe them.  
The days got warmer and soon it was summer time. I never saw Dougie. I went to a few McFLY shows because the guys got me tickets. I'd make eye contact with Dougie and my heart would skip a beat, but he'd only look back down ta his bass and keep playing. And after the show he was back on the tour bus before I could tell him he played a great show.  
Dougie Poynter, you were wrong. My life has only gotten worse since you left me.  
Summer ended as quickly as it started with still no sign of Dougie. My sophomore year started and I couldn't say I was excited. I never had anything to look forward to anymore because there was no more chance of Dougie showing up at my locker with that stupid crooked smile asking me if I wanted a ride. There was no more chance of him running up behind me in the hallway and lifting me into the air giving me a massive bear hug. No more chances for him to ask me to hang out and watch a movie. It finally happened. Dougie was gone.  
I tried so hard to forget about him so I could live my life like he promised I'd be able to, but right when I was near forgetting him he found his way back into my mind again.  
Obsession's a bit of a boring thing, really. Day in and day out I'd dream of this boy. Of what we used to have. Of what he threw away. All for me.  
Some gift.  
November rolled around and it started getting colder again. But I was getting stronger. I was starting to cope with the fact that I'd never see Dougie again. And then I checked the mail.

Shayna Jones!  
You are cordially invited to Dougie Poynter's 17th Birthday!  
Where: The McFLY house.  
When: Saturday from 7:00pm to Whenever we tell you to get the hell out.  
RSVP: Call Tom!

There was a picture of him on it. He had changed. His hair wasn't blonde anymore, it was a dark brown, falling into his beautiful blue eyes. A lip ring was around the right side of his bottom lip. He looked absolutely gorgeous, but so sad.  
I sighed and contemplated whether or not I should go. I wanted to see Dougie. It's been almost a year now. But then again, I didn't want to see him and fall back in love with him only to have him disappear again.  
Then I decided to go. Because I was soon driven to make things better between us. I wanted one thing when I went to that party, just in case he did leave again, and I promised myself I'd get it.

**Part 2  
Dougie**

"Guys, I told you I didn't want a party," I complained as I fell back on the couch.  
"Too bad, it's already been handled." Danny told me.  
"It's nothing huge is it?" I asked him hopefully. He shook his head, "No way. Just a few good friends, a few good drinks, and all the time you want," he smiled.  
"Danny..." I warned. I swear if it's anything like my last birthday party that he threw I was going to kill him.  
"I swear, Doug." he held his hands up, "Now go get changed, you look like a bum and people are going to be here soon."  
I flew up the stairs to my bedroom and pulled on a pair of dark jeans and a black button down shirt. I fixed my hair a bit, then went back down stairs. People were already arriving.  
I just sat back on the couch, smiling and thanking people as they wished me a happy birthday. I wasn't exactly in a party mood, though. Even after almost a year, I still missed Shay. Things like that don't just disappear forever.  
Soon word got around that she was at the house. I didn't believe everyone entirely, but I still wanted to know. Why would she be here? Danny didn't invite her....did he?  
And then the answer came walking right through the kitchen door. Shay walked into the room in a mini skirt and a baby blue tank top. She walked over to the couch and smiled at me, "Dougie!"  
She'd been drinking.  
I didn't know what to say to her. Almost a year after not seeing someone, there's generally a bit of an awkward silence. I grabbed her hand and led her away from everybody, "Shay what are you doing here?"  
"Danny invited me," she told me, "You don't know who's invited to your own party?"  
"I didn't exactly want it," I explained.  
"Well," she said pulling me into a hug and whispering in my ear, "I've missed you."  
Butterflies flooded my stomach, so many I felt like I was going to throw up. The backs of my legs got sweaty and me knees felt weak.  
"I've missed you too."  
Her arms were around me neck and we stood there for a minute. Shay giggled, "Do you have a gun in your pants, Dougie, or are you just happy to see me?"  
I looked down, my face flushing with embarrassment. I fell back on the couch and crossed my legs. Shay laughed and sat down next to me, putting her head on my shoulder. She had to be drunk. But she looked so....happy. Happy because she's with me and because she had been drinking her artificial happiness from a bottle, drowning her problems in it. And I knew this was wrong.  
After a minute, Shay jumped up and grabbed my hands, "Come with me," she whispered. I followed her up the stairs then into my bedroom. She shut the door, then kissed me. My body was pressed between hers and the wall. I shut my eyes and her hands tangled into my hair. Her tongue forced its way between my closed lips and her breath was hot in my mouth. It was wrong. I knew this was wrong. But god, it felt so right.  
_Dougie..._ that voice in my head said, warning me. And this time, I actually listened to it.  
"Shay," I said pushing her away from me. She giggled, "What?"  
"Listen....I...." I struggled for the words I was trying to say, as I walked over to my bed, sitting down. She didn't give me enough time because her lips crashed down onto mine as well as the rest of her body. Her hands were around my neck and that voice in my head kept telling me to stop. I had the worst sense of deja vu.  
Shay's hands moved from my neck down to my chest, unbuttoning my shirt. _Dougie, stop this!_ that voice warned. I reluctantly agreed. I grabbed both Shay's hands.  
"Shay..." I started, glaring at her.  
"What?" she asked, looking hurt, her eyes a bit glazed over, "Come on Dougie."  
"Shay, really. You're only 15." I tried to tell her.  
"And you're only 17, but it isn't like you haven't done this before."  
"Yeah but she was older and I-"  
"Here we go with age again." Shay rolled her eyes.  
Her lips moved along my jaw bone and up to my lips. Her hands trailed down my chest and down to my waist, grabbing my belt buckle. Her lips moved down my neck.  
_Dougie stop. Now!_ the voice screamed. I knew I needed to listen to it. I didn't care how bad I wanted this, I didn't care how bad Shay thought she wanted this, It wasn't going to happen.  
"Shay!" this time I almost screamed in urgency. I grabbed her hands that were now practically between my legs, and I pulled her back up to face me. "Seriously."  
"Come on, Doug." she pouted pulling her hands away from mind and back down to my bare waist, "Why not?"  
"Because." I sighed running my hands through my extremely messy hair, "Shay....you're really drunk."  
"And you're really horny," she fired back, her eyes falling below my waist, to the solid proof that she was right. I slowly pulled a pillow over my lap.  
"You may be right," I sighed, "But you don't want to make this mistake. You're in no condition right now to make a decision like this."  
Shay sighed, "Dougie, I know what I want."  
"Yeah, when you're sober." I told her, "But I'm not going to take advantage of you when you're like this, no matter how much I want to."  
"Why?" she asked me, "You want something and it's right in front of you. So take it."  
"I can't Shay. I love you too much." I told her. She stood up and walked across the room, obviously hurt. "I've missed you so much." she repeated.  
"I've missed you too. So much." I said, still never getting up. "Listen, you go back downstairs to the party. Get something to eat, but no beer. Please no alcohol okay? I'll be down in a minute. Just let me er...." I pulled the pillow away from my lap, "Calm down a bit."  
"Sure," she shrugged sadly and made her way out of my bedroom.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 - Reunion.  
Dougie**

I fell back onto my pillows, burying my face in my hands. My heart rate slowed down a bit as well as my breathing. I closed my eyes tight and tried to forget everything about this party. I tried to wish everything away. I tried to wish I go back about an hour and do my best to avoid Shay again. I mean, I'm not upset that i saw her again. In fact, it was great. I missed her so much. Not having her around killed me inside. But the fact that the first time I saw her in almost a year she tried to get in my pants wasn't exactly the way I wanted it.  
I opened my eyes and pushed myself off my bed, buttoning up my shirt and fastening my belt buckle. I decided to go back downstairs and find Shay. Hopefully she'd be sober enough to listen to what I wanted to say.  
I made my way down the stairs fixing my hair as I went. I didn't want people eying me and questioning why it was that I had sex hair. I searched the house for Shay, then finally found her in the kitchen, a bottle of beer in her hand.  
"Shay!" I yelled, taking it from her.  
"Come on Dougie," she groaned, "What's wrong?"  
I sighed heavily and grabbed her hand, leading her away from the kitchen, "Shay didn't I tell you not to drink?"  
"Dougie, you aren't my dad." she crossed her arms, "Let me do what I want."  
"Shay, I'm not going to let you hurt yourself okay?" I told her staring her in the eyes. She looked away from me, "Fine."

Only I got to her a little too late. The next time I saw her was when she was sick.  
"Shayna," I whispered, walking into the upstairs bathroom, "You okay?"  
"I'm fine," she sighed, leaning against the wall.  
"Listen, I called your parents and told them you were staying here tonight. I don't want them to see you like this." I told her quietly. She looked up at me, "Thanks."  
I grabbed her hands, "Come on. You can sleep in my bed tonight." I said leading her into my room. I grabbed a pair of my boxers and a t-shirt and handed them to her, "Go get changed, I'll wash your clothes for you so your parents don't smell the alcohol on you, okay?"  
"Sure..." she said, walking into the bathroom, then walking back out with her clothes in a ball. I ran into the laundry room and threw them in the washer, then ran back up to my room. Shay was already lying in my bed.  
"You need sleep," I told her, putting a blanket over her. She looked cold. I grabbed another blanket off my floor and started to walk out of the room.  
"Wait!" she called, "Where are you going?"  
"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight," I told her.  
"You can sleep here," she told me, "There's room."  
"Er....I don't think that's the best idea," I said hesitantly, rubbing the back of my neck. She smiled at me then giggled a bit, "Come on. Pleeeease Dougie."  
Yep. She was still drunk.  
I sighed, "All right." I set my blanket down on the floor then walked over an lay down on my bed, as close to the edge as I could get and I crawled under the covers.  
Shay giggled again, "You know you can move closer if you want."  
I groaned, "Shayna."  
"Fine fine," she sighed, "But you're still in your jeans. Do you always sleep in jeans?"  
I rolled my eyes and kicked my jeans off, throwing them to the floor, "There. Is that better?"  
"Sure," she said tiredly, then curled up next to me, putting her head on my chest. In seconds she was fast asleep. I sighed and tried my hardest to fall asleep too. It wasn't easy.

**Shayna.**

The first thing I remembered was waking up in Dougie's bed. The light came through the blinds, hurting my eyes. My head hurt pretty bad too. And the next thing I noticed was that Dougie was lying next to me in an unbuttoned dress shirt and his boxers. He was curled up in a ball on the edge of the bed.  
What was going on? Why was I in Doug's bed this morning? I wondered if I even wanted to know what happened the night before. We didn't....  
Did we?  
Soon, Dougie rolled over, opening his eyes. "Morning." he said tiredly, "How are you feeling?"  
"My head hurts," I sighed, "Can I ask why I'm in your bed?"  
Did I want to know?  
Dougie smiled, "You were drunk last night. I didn't want your parents seeing you like that so I told them you were staying here. I was going to sleep on the couch, but you practically begged me to stay with you."  
He laughed. My face turned bright red. "You don't remember do you?" he asked. I shook my head.  
"What....what happened?" I asked him.  
He just smiled, "A few things happened. You had a bit too much to drink. You tried to...well..." he shook his head, "Never mind. I didn't let anything happen, if that's what you're worried about."  
I swallowed hard, "Explain, please."  
He just laughed awkwardly, "You kinda led me up here last night and tried.....some things...."  
My face flushed bright red. He laughed again. I'm glad he was getting a kick out of this, "Don't worry though. Nothing happened. I didn't let you."  
"Why?" I asked him.  
"Because you were in no condition to make a decision like that and I wasn't going to take advantage of you like that. If you were sober, maybe it would have been different. When you're sober you know what you want. But not when you're wasted." he told me.  
So he was only trying to protect me. He did still love me. After all this time he did still love me. That was all I could have asked for. But there was still one thing I wanted to know.  
"But...what if...." I looked down shyly, playing with the edge of the blanket, "What if right now I told you that's what I wanted. I'm sober aren't I? Would you let me have it?"  
Dougie sighed and shook his head smiling, "Shayna, Shayna, Shayna."  
"You don't have to say yes," I whispered, "I was just wondering."  
He kissed my forehead and my insides absolutely melted, "I don't know." he told me. He started to get up.  
"Dougie," I said again. He looked back at me, "Yeah?"  
"You said...you said nothing happened last night then right? So we didn't exactly get anywhere?" I asked hesitantly.  
Dougie laughed, "Oh no, you got somewhere. You uhh..." he looked down awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck, "You kinda found Dougie Jr. I seem to have a bit more self control than he does."  
"Oh." I turned absolutely red and looked down.  
"But no worries," Dougie continued, "No harm done."  
"Sorry...." I muttered. I wasn't sure if he heard me. He just let a smile cover his face and he turned into the bathroom laughing.  
Some reunion the two of us seemed to have had....


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 - Payback.  
Dougie**

I still didn't know what to do about Shay. Should I tell her to leave and try and keep my promise? I was really getting better at not seeing her. Or should I try and make things better and risk hurting her and possibly myself all over again? I put my head in my hands and tried weighing out the pros and cons of the situation. I knew if I wanted to do it properly it would take me hours and I didn't want Shay to think I passed out in the shower or something. Because god knows she'd probably come looking for me.  
I stepped out of the shower and pulled on some new clothes. I took a deep breath, then opened the door. Shay was still sitting in my bed. It didn't look like she'd moved an inch. When I shut the bathroom door behind me, she looked up, "Hi Dougie."  
"Hey," I smiled. The tension was as thick as peanut butter in that room and the awkwardness of the situation almost hurt. No one knew what to say. Shay broke the awkward silence first.  
"So uh...how...was your shower...?" she asked me, seemed to be questioning herself as well as to why she had asked that.  
"Uhm...Wet...?" I said sensibly. She just nodded. It was amazing how two people who used to be best friends suddenly couldn't even function like regular humans when they were around each other. We both knew we needed to mention something about the night before, but no one said a word.  
Finally, I decided to say something.  
"Listen Shay, I--"  
"Dougie I just wanted--"  
We both spoke at the exact same time, making the whole thing just sound like "ListenShay-DougieIjustwanted--Shay,I"  
We both stopped and laughed lightly, "Go ahead," we both said at the same time.  
Shay smiled and decided to talk first, "Listen, I'm sorry for...well...everything. You shouldn't have had to take care of me last night. I'm really sorry."  
"No, don't worry about it. It's fine." I told her. She shook her head, "It isn't fine."  
"Shay, you had to take care of me when I was drunk that time in Bolton." I reminded her, then grinned wryly, "Think of it as payback."  
"Payback's a bitch," she sighed. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her, then sighed, "I know."  
"Listen," I said after a minute, "Last night wasn't exactly the best night to see each other again and I want to make it up to you."  
"Wait," she pulled away from me, looking disgusted as if I had some sort of deadly, contagious disease, "You make everything up to me!? Dougie, you didn't do anything! I should be making everything up to you!"  
I shook my head, "No. We're even. Actually, I take that back. We aren't even because I just broke my promise to you."  
"Dougie, that promise" she said the word like it was a cuss word, "Should have never been made. It's not fair for you to promise me something that I don't want."  
"You don't want a better life?" I asked her.  
"Not if you aren't a part of it," she wrapped her arms around my waist again, sending electric shocks through my body. I missed her hugs. I missed the smell of her hair, I missed her big brown eyes and her laugh. I missed her smile. I missed everything about her. I hugged her tightly, as if she would disappear if I let go.  
"So can I make it up to you?" I whispered, "Please?"  
"Fine," she sighed, pretending to be disappointed. I laughed and kissed her forehead.  
"So tell me," she said, all tension and awkward moments fading, "What happened to your hair?"  
I ran my hands through my newly dyed brown hair, almost forgetting it was different. Well, to me it wasn't, but to Shay it definitely was. I shrugged, "I just needed a change, I guess. Don't you like it?"  
She scrunched her nose up, "It'll take some getting used to. I miss your blond hair, what happened to that?"  
"It went away," I shrugged, smiling. She giggled, "Dougie, I've missed you."  
"Me too," I sighed. "Hey Shay,"  
"Yeah?"  
"Guess what?"  
"What?"  
I ran forward, throwing my arms around her sides, tickling her. We both collapsed onto the bed, Shayna crying from laughing. "Dougie, stop!" she screamed through her laughter. I kept tickling her sides and laughing as well.  
"Dougieee!" she screamed, trying to wiggle her way away from me, but I pinned her down, practically on top of her.  
"You better"-hysterical laughter- "Stop right now, or I'll" - more laughing - "Kick you so hard you won't be able to walk for weeks."  
"Oh, I'd like to see that," I said laughing.  
"Dougie, I swear-" The door opened and we both turned our heads towards Danny who was standing at the door, his face between confused, shocked, and completely dumbfounded. It was priceless.  
"Uh....sorry if I was er...interrupting...?" he said, looking for the right word. I crawled off his sister and stood up. Shay wiped her tears off her cheeks and sat up.  
"Nope." we both said.  
"Mkay..." Danny said, still clearly confused beyond belief, "Well I was going to take Shay home now but if you two were busy..."  
Shay laughed and stood up, "It's fine."  
Danny gave me a look, then turned his gaze toward his sister, then back to me. He closed his eyes and shook his head, probably trying to get every bad possibility that could have been happening between me and his sister out of his head. "Whatever....Come on Shay."  
"Bye Dougie," she waved, then left the room.  
"Bye," I waved back. I heard Danny's voice as they walked down the hall, "So, can I was what was going on?"  
I just laughed to myself and fell back onto my bed and sighed. Somehow, things were starting to turn out better than expected.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 - The News.  
Dougie**

The next day at school seemed to drag on forever. I had four exams, all of which I probably failed, not to mention the piles of homework that were assigned. People always say "high school is the best four years of your life!"  
Bullshit.  
I sat back in biology, my fifth class, and watched my teacher washing his hands after showing us a dissection of a frog. I had just chugged three cartons of milk in an attempt to win five bucks. I won, but I hadn't gone to the bathroom since. I stared at the water dripping from the faucet on my teacher's desk and crossed my legs impatiently. There were still about fifteen minutes left in class.  
"Mr. Davis!" I raised my hand. He glared at me, "Yes?"  
"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked him. He usually never let us go in the middle of class, but he needed to make an exception, "Pleeeease?"  
"Oh, sure, Dougie." he smiled. I sighed a breath of relief, "But first, let me wash my hands again."  
"Mr. Davis please!" I groaned. He was the one teacher I didn't hate. He cracked jokes with us and acted like he was about seventeen. He was the only teacher I'd known to actually be cool.  
The rest of the kids laughed and watched me wiggle around in my chair, waiting for Mr. Davis to put my out of my misery.  
"Fine, fine. You can go." he told me. I sighed again, "But. First you have to tell me all the elements in group thirteen of the periodic table in alphabetical order while standing on one foot."  
"Dude!" I shouted. He, as well as the rest of the kids in my class, started laughing. "Seriously. This is Biology, not chemistry and besides I have terrible balance."  
"Looks like you aren't going to the bathroom," Mr. Davis smirked.  
"Do you want me to piss all over your chair?" I asked him. He glared at me, then handed me a pass. I smiled, "I win."  
"Sure, I'll get you next time though, Poynter." he told me as I took the pass and booked out of the room.  
There were a bunch of fliers hung all around the boys' bathroom announcing some dance our school was having soon. I mean nearly every inch of the bathroom was covered. I rolled my eyes. Student council must have gone a little overboard this year. At least I had something to read while I was taking care of what needed to be done.  
I hardly ever went to dances and things like that at my school. They just never appealed to me. They were a waste of my time and teachers were always breathing down your necks telling you to "make room for Jesus" any time you danced too close to someone.  
I left the bathroom and gathered my stuff, then headed to my next, and least favorite class. English. I don't know why I hated it so much. I don't think it was the class so much as it was my teacher.  
I sat back in my chair trying to balance a pencil on my nose while I waited for my teacher to come in the room and drone on and on with some boring lecture that I wouldn't pay attention to which would later result in another failed test. I really didn't care.  
"Dougie," Danny tapped my shoulder causing the pencil to fall off my face and onto the floor. I looked over at him, "What?"  
But before he could answer me, Mr. Rowlance entered the room forcing all of our conversations to stop. I reached down to grab my pencil and when I sat back up, Danny passed me a folded piece of notebook paper. I gave him a questioning look, then opened it.  
Did Tom tell you the news yet?  
News? What news? I looked back at Danny and shrugged, silently telling him I had no idea what he was talking about. He opened his mouth and leaned towards me, "Mate, we're going--"  
"Mr. Jones!" the teacher snapped, shutting Danny up. I just stared at Danny but he gave me an apologetic look.  
Now I was getting anxious. What was this news he wanted to tell me? I was half nervous, it could be pretty bad. But then again it could be something stupid that I could care less about, like the time Danny's turtle died.  
English seemed to drag on and on for what seemed like hours. When the bell rang, we all shot up out of our seats.  
"Danny!" I caught him by the arm as we piled out of the room, "What's this news you wanted to tell me?"  
Danny looked around him, then grabbed my wrist, pulling me into the bathroom. He checked all the stalls making sure no one was in there, then turned to me with this goofy grin on his face.  
"Uh..." I looked around me, "Should I be scared?"  
Danny just started laughing, "Dude!"  
"What!?" I asked him growing more and more impatient.  
"Guess what!?" he asked me, jumping up and down like a seven year old.  
"Danny, what? This is what I have been asking you for the past hour! WHAT?" I grabbed both his shoulders, forcing him to face me.  
"Doug, we're going on tour!" he told me, his blue eyes looked like a Husky puppy that wanted to play. If he was a dog I could only imagine his tail would be wagging a mile a minute.  
"Tour?" I asked him.  
"Yes dude! Like a UK tour! Everywhere dude! And not like an opening act either. This is all us dude!" he told me. "McFLY Wonderland Tour!"  
"You're kidding!?" I screamed. He clamped a hand over my mouth, "Shh! don't say anything alright? We all agreed not to make a big deal because then kids are going to be bribing us with all the stuff trying to get tickets or whatever."  
"Sure sure," I mumbled into his mouth. I licked his hand and he laughed, wiping it on his jeans. "But wait," I said, "Er...does your family know yet? Y'know like your mom and dad. And...and sister."  
"Nah, not yet. I'll tell em tonight over dinner," he told me. "How good is this, dude!?"  
I sighed. I was glad Shay didn't know yet. I knew Danny was her brother and all, but I still wanted to be the one to tell her.  
"When are we going?" I asked him.  
"Uh...next month?" he said, unsure, "I think next month."  
Next month? Next month! I was going on tour next month! I just got Shay back and now I was leaving again?  
"You don't look so good," Danny commented, "You okay?"  
"Y-yeah, fine." I told him, "Listen, what are you doing about school?" I asked him.  
"Well, considering Tom and Haz are done now, I figure I'll drop out." Danny shrugged, "I mean we already have our futures lined up, right?"  
"True," I nodded. Dropping out seemed like a good idea to me. I could care less about school.  
"Anyway, dude, the bell's about to ring. So I'll catch you after school, all right?" Danny said.  
"Sure," I nodded, "Thanks for the info, mate. I'm stoked." But my voice was flat.  
Danny nodded, "Sure." he booked out of the bathroom as the bell ran. I sat up against the wall. I was going to drop out anyway, what did it matter if I was late anymore? This whole tour thing was a lot to take in. I mean, I was as excited as Danny was. Touring? It was insane.  
But I just fixed things with Shay, or I was starting to anyway. And now I had barely a month to tell her goodbye again. I was lucky she still loved me after all this, but what if things changed when I was on tour. What if she stopped loving me?  
Or worse yet...  
What if I stopped loving her?


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 - Selfish  
Shayna**

School dragged on as usual, but I was thankful it was a Friday. All week has seemed to drag on, really. I had this weird sort of premonition all week, like something terrible was going to happen. But since the week was at it's end I was sure it was nothing. Besides, the feeling went away anyway.  
After my last class I gathered headed back to my locker. As I was spinning the dial on my lock I felt two muscular arms wrap around my shoulders. I got butterflies.  
"Hi Dougie," I giggled, turning around and kissing him on the cheek.  
"Hello, love. And how was your day?" he asked me, smiling.  
"Ugh," I rolled my eyes, "I thought it'd never end."  
"I'm with ya there." he told me, then stiffened and became more serious, "Listen I want to talk to you. How about we go to Starbucks? I got my car back!" he told me.  
"Sure," I smiled, "Just let me tell--"  
"Danny?" he finished, "Taken care of. He asked me to take you home anyway, he has to go pick up his guitar. Idiot broke it again."  
I laughed, "Okay then. Let's go."  
Sitting in the passenger's seat of Dougie's car gave me a funny feeling inside. It was filled with memories and suddenly I started feeling sad, and that feeling of premonition washed over me again. I breathed in deep, the smell of his car was a mix between cigarettes and Dougie's cologne. But to me it smelled like home.  
I noticed something must have been bothering Dougie. He gripped the wheel tight, his knuckles almost turning white.  
"You okay?" I asked him. He just nodded, "Sure, I'm fine."  
The ride to the coffee place was pretty quiet, with the occasional comment about his day and sometimes a good song would come on the radio so the two of us would begin singing. It wasn't the way we used to though. It wasn't goofy and carefree. There was a sort of tension we couldn't really break through.  
We stepped into the crowded Starbucks and waited in line. Dougie was still quiet, awkwardly rubbing his bare arms even though it wasn't that cold in the store.  
When it was our turn, I ordered a vanilla latte. "Doug what do you want?" I asked him.  
"I'll have a caramel frappucinno." he told the girl working behind the counter. I giggled to myself hearing him order that. He used to refuse to buy anything from Starbucks. He claimed they were girly drinks. But Tom and I got him addicted to it not too long ago.  
"What size?" the lady asked him.  
"Uhh...a large," he told her.  
"You mean Venti?" she asked. Dougie crinkled his eyebrows together in confusion, "Nah, I mean large."  
"Doug, that's what a large is here." I told him.  
"Well that doesn't even make any sense at all!" he said.  
The lady just gave us a confused look and the other guy working there started making our drinks.  
"Dougie... let it go." I sighed. He didn't listen.  
"You got your Tall, which would be a synonym for large. Grande, which is Spanish for large," he said counting off his fingers, "And a Venti, which isn't even large at all, it's Italian for twenty! Way to go, you're stupid in three different languages!"  
"Excuse me?" the lady asked us. I grabbed Dougie's arm, grabbed our drinks, and led him to a table. "Mind if I ask?"  
"Sorry, sorry." he said, looking ashamed as he sat down and took a long sip of his drink. "Listen I have something I need to tell you."  
"So tell me." I said, feeling a bit nervous. He looked around, "Not here. Not now."  
"So when can you tell me?" I asked him.  
"After we're done here." he explained. "So how was your day?"  
I stared at him, confused. Why did he all of a sudden just change subjects, change moods?  
"Uh...fine..." I told him. "Listen, are you okay?" I asked putting my hand on top of his which were folded on top of the table. He looked down and kind of shook his head.  
"No. Not really anyway." he shrugged, "It's not your fault though, so don't worry about it. I'll be fine."  
"It has something to do with what you have to tell me, doesn't it?" I asked quietly. He nodded.  
"So tell me!" I told him, "I can handle it."  
Dougie looked around then he grabbed my arm with one hand and his drink with another and led me back to his car. We drove in silence until we were at the McFLY house. The rest of the guys were out.  
"Listen." Dougie told me, "Danny told me something today..."  
"What'd he tell you?" I asked getting a little nervous.  
"He told me...." Dougie looked around then gave me a weak smile, "Shay, he told me we were going on tour."  
"Dougie that's great!" I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. He slowly wrapped his around my waist and hugged me tightly.  
"Shay, I'm going to be gone for like a month," he told me quietly.  
"When?" I asked him, my heart sinking.  
"Few weeks," he whispered.  
He let me go and I returned to my normal height and stared at the ground. He can't leave. Not now. I just got him back. He can't leave me again. "Oh..."  
"You don't want me to go, do you?" he asked me.  
The truth was, no I didn't. I wanted him to stay with me. I had been without him for so long and we were finally making things right. Things were finally getting back to the way they were supposed to be. If he left he would throw everything right off balance again and I would be back to where I started. I didn't want him gone. But if I said no that would be extremely selfish of me. I knew he wanted this. He really deserved it.  
"No, I want you to go," I told him as I sat on the couch. He sat closely next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.  
"Shay if you don't want me to go..." he started.  
"Then I'd be completely and 100% selfish and that isn't fair to you," I told him sadly, "I want you to stay. But the guys need you. They need you more than I need you."  
"No they don't." he disagreed, "Shay if you want me to stay here with you, I will. Just tell me."  
And it was as simple as that. I could tell him to stay and he would. I would get to keep him, all to myself. Just me and him. But if I did it, he would be upset and the guys would be upset. As much as I wanted to tell him to stay home, I couldn't.  
"No, Dougie. I want you to go. You deserve this. And the guys need you." I told him. "Please go."  
"We'll get you tickets to some shows," he told me, trying to brighten things up, "And you can even come see us when we play close to home. It'll be fine."  
"But what..." I started, "What about school?"  
Dougie looked at his feet and whispered, "I'm dropping out."  
"Dougie! You're seventeen!" I told him, wide eyed.  
"I know, I know, but Shay I've got my whole life planned out already. I don't need school. I was never good at school anyway and since I'm making money, I don't need to find a career!" he told me.  
"But...but I'll miss you," I choked out as tears flooded my eyes. He hugged my tightly and buried his face in my hair, "I'll miss you too. But nothing will change. I'll still be around."  
"Not when you're on tour you won't."  
"No," he sighed, "But I'll be just a phone call away. Call anytime you want and I'll talk to you okay?"  
"Kay," I sniffled.  
"And look at it this way, soon I'll be rich and when we get married you will also be rich," he joked.  
I laughed, "Married, huh Poynter?"  
He nodded, "Of course. And we'll have like a hundred kids!"  
We both started laughing. "Yeah, a hundred mini Dougies running around," I said through my laughter. Dougie hugged me and our bodies shook in convulsions from our laughter. We caught our breath and Dougie sighed. He stared at me and I forgot everything, lost in his blue eyes. His lips touched mine and my heart accelerated. "Love you, Shay." he muttered into my mouth.  
"Love you too, Dougie."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 - Goodbye  
**  
That month came and went faster than I'd ever seen. The guys and I began packing our things onto the tour bus. Our own tour bus. It was insane. It was huge, too. Two floors on this bus, an XBox a fridge and microwave a TV. Anything you could possibly need, this bus had it. It was unreal. But then came Shay. A month gave me a lot less time than I thought it would to say goodbye. I mean, I'd only be gone a month, right? A month isn't too long. But without Shay it would seem like an eternity. I just got her back.  
"Doug, help me with this will ya?" Tom asked, carrying two suitcases filled with clothes.  
"Sure," I grabbed one, taking some weight off his shoulders and following him out to the bus.  
"How pumped are you, mate?" Tom asked me, grinning.  
"Dude, this is gonna be so wicked!" I laughed. We had been talking about this for weeks. The guys an I couldn't wait to get on the road and play shows to thousands of people a night. It was hard to wrap my mind around the whole thing though. Dougie Poynter, 17 years old and famous.  
We set some of the stuff on the bus. Danny was already in there, sprawled across one of the couches.  
"Danny, we aren't leaving for another two days." Tom reminded him with a laugh.  
"Oh, I know." Danny said, "I'm just trying to get used to the rock star lifestyle. At least I'm not like Haz, he's using the toilet in here."  
Just then Harry came out of one of the doors. "You know, you can't do a number two in that bathroom?" he said.

Danny got up, and grabbed my arm, leading me off the bus and into the side yard, "Dougie, can I talk to you for a sec?"  
"Shoot, mate." I smiled.  
"You seem a little...I don't know..." he thought for a minute trying to find the right word, "Nervous."  
"Well sure," I shrugged, "Danny, we're going to be playing shows to millions of people. Of course I'm nervous."  
"No, not like that." Danny shook his head, "Like nervous about leaving. Listen, Doug, I know about you and Shay."  
I stared at my feet, "Oh."  
"Dude, I'm not mad or anything." Danny continued, "But I know that you two are just getting things back to how they used to be and it's hard leaving her. She feels that same way, you know. So I'm gonna have to ask a favor from you, though."  
"Sure, anything." I nodded. He looked me straight in the eyes, "Don't do anything stupid."  
I laughed, "Danny, do you realize who you're talking to. My middle name is stupid."  
Danny laughed too, "Very true, very true. But in all seriousness, Doug, it's weird enough that you're madly in love with my sister, but for whatever reason you make her happy. So if you screw that up, expect a beating from me."  
"Yes sir." I nodded. We both turned to meet back up with the others. "Oh and one more thing." Danny added.  
"Yeah?"  
"Next time you fall asleep on the couch, keep your fantasies to yourself," he laughed, "No one needs to hear your moaning throughout the house. I was afraid you and Tom had decided to become butt buddies and I wasn't sure I could handle that."  
I laughed and turned red at the same time, "Sure, Danny, I'll try to tone it down a notch for you."

The day before the tour started, I owed it to myself and Shayna to say goodbye. I picked her up around six and she came to the McFLY house. The rest of the guys were with their parents, but I took care of that during the day so we had the house to ourselves. I wanted to take Shay out to some fancy dinner place or something but she refused to let me. "We'll hang out like we did before you were famous. We'll just chill at your place and watch a movie or something, like before." she had said. So a movie it was.  
Shay snuggled up next to me on the couch and I pulled a purple blanket over both of us. "What movie have you picked out for us this fine evening?" she asked me. I grinned and hit play.  
"The Notebook?" she asked, smiling. "Dougie, you're going to hate this movie, you know that right?"  
"I'm not going to hate it if I'm watching it with you," I told her, placing a kiss on her forehead.  
She was right. I didn't like it much. It was a chick flick, but I will admit I did envy that Noah guy. He seemed...perfect. Something I'd never be to Shay.  
"Dougie," Shay whispered during the movie.  
"Hmm?"  
"Don't go."  
I looked down and tears were formed in both her eyes. She looked so sad and I could have cried just seeing that. "I'll miss you too much. Please..."  
"Shay.." I started, then ran my hands through my hair, "We can't just cancel all those shows. All those people..."  
"I know," she sighed, "I'm being selfish. I want you to go, I really do, but then I don't. I don't know what I'm saying, I think I'm just..."  
I cut her off my placing my mouth to hers. There was a sort of feeling to that kiss, a sort of tension, as if we;d never see each other again even though we both knew that one month wasn't that long at all. It was as if that would be the last time I'd ever get to kiss her.  
I got too caught up in everything and didn't notice my hands were under her shirt on the skin on her back. I opened my eyes and moved them. Shay moved her mouth away from mine. "Dougie..."  
"No." I said shaking my head, I knew what she was going to ask.  
"Please," she said, moving her lips to my ear, my one weakness. "You're leaving. And I'm going to be stuck here without you. I'll miss you."  
She knew guilt trips always worked with me. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes as her lips moved from my ear, down my jaw.  
"Shay..." I started, but her lips kept mine from saying anything more. This whole thing seemed too familiar. The way her hands traced along my spine, down to my shirt collar, unbuttoning. The path her hands took down my torso. It all was so familiar.  
But this time, I didn't fight fate. I let what was supposed to happen, happen.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 - First Night  
Dougie**

I really wished that night didn't have to end. I prayed that somehow it would stretch on and on into eternity and I would never have to leave. It isn't that I wasn't excited to go on tour, I was.  
But without Shay...  
"Danny's gonna be home soon, you know." I mentioned to Shay who was still kissing me.  
"Screw Danny," she muttered into my mouth. I wished I could say the same, but he'd kill me if he knew what went on tonight. He'd probably kill Shay to. So as much as I didn't want to, I had to end it.  
"Dougieee," Shay stuck out her bottom lip and looked at me through her eyelashes when I pulled away and lie next to her in my bed.  
"Sorry, but I don't want me skull bashed in tonight by your brother," I laughed. Shay scooted closer to me and curled up by my side. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her forehead, "I wish I didn't have to leave."  
"Me too," she sighed and closed my eyes and I felt Shay's chest rise and fall with every slow breath she took.

"Anyone home?" Danny shouted from downstairs. I sighed and got up, pulling on my pants and shirt.  
"Damn," Shay sighed, taking the words out of my mouth. I laughed, "Too bad they didn't get caught in traffic. I'll go let 'em know we're alive."  
"Kay," Shay sighed sadly, still not moving from her place on my bed. I leaned back over and planted another kiss on her lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and tried to pull me back down. I pulled away and laughed. Shay gave me a small smile, then I headed down the stairs.  
"Anyone here!?" Danny was still shouting.  
"Right here," I told Danny, who was flipping on the lights in the house. He turned to me and smiled, "Oh hey."  
"How was your night?" I asked the rest of the guys. They all said it was good.  
"What about you? What did you and Shay do?" Tom asked me. I opened my mouth to answer, but Danny covered his ears, "Don't wanna know! Don't wanna know! Don't wanna know!"  
Tom, Harry and I laughed while Danny stood there with his hands covering his ears and his eyes squeezed shut.  
He finally moved his hands, "So what did you do with my sister, anyway?" he asked me.  
"Well..." I started with a wry grin. His hands flew back up to his ears, "LA LA LA LA LA!!!!"  
I laughed again, "She's upstairs."  
Danny gave me a death glare. I held both my hands up, "All we did was watch a movie I swear to you. She fell asleep, so I woke her up and told her I was coming down here to tell you guys where we were."  
He kept glaring. "Swear to god dude!"  
"If I find out you did anything, mate..." Danny started.  
"You won't." I told him. And he wouldn't. He didn't have to know anything.

The next morning came faster than I thought it would. Our families all came over to the house for breakfast. I hadn't seen my sister in a while, so it was nice to talk to her. She was already almost fifteen.  
"How's high school, Jazz?" I asked.  
"It's good. Except I get mobbed practically every day by girls. 'Oh my god, aren't you Dougie Poynter's little sister?' t's pretty crazy. So thanks, Dougie," she laughed.  
"Anything for my baby sister," I smiled, hugging her.  
Soon it was time to go. We had to make it to Manchester by the next day. I hugged my mom and sister goodbye and they wished me and the rest of the guys good luck. Everyone was gone and in the bus except Shay.  
"Doug, you coming?" Danny asked.  
"One sec," I told him. I grabbed Shay's hand. "Listen, you can call whenever you want okay? And come to some of our shows by home. We'll get you in."  
"Kay," she sniffled. I hugged her, laughing lightly, "Don't cry. I'll be home before you know it. Take care of Zukie and Jerry for me?"  
"Of course," she smiled through her tears, "Bye Doug."  
"Bye," I kissed her forehead, then climbed the stairs and into the bus. The door shut behind me and we were off.

First night on the bus was a little crazy. Every time we stopped to get something to eat, hundreds of people waited outside our bus with pens and paper. I wasn't used to having this many people know me. It was cool seeing how many fans we really had. And we even had a nice dinner that night without too many people mobbing us.

We stopped at a hotel that evening, around six. hundreds of fans were lined up just to try and catch a glimpse of us. It was unreal. We waved and sighed a few autographs, then found our room and collapsed on the beds.  
"Crazy night." I sighed, closing my eyes.  
"It's not over," Tom told me, throwing a shirt on my face, "We have an interview tonight. I suggest you drink some coffee or something because we're out of here again in about a half hour."  
I groaned and got up to make myself something to drink.  
The interview lasted longer than I expected it would and I was dead tired. Everyone kept asking why I was so quiet. I'd simply shrug, and continue to listen to the rest of the guys talk while I tried hard not to fall asleep.  
And to make matters worse, the drive back to the hotel was almost an hour long. I tried to fall asleep but we didn't take the tour bus to the radio station, we took a van. It was uncomfortable.  
"We home?" I asked when the van stopped. Harry shook his head, "Nope."  
"Where are we?" Danny asked. Tom shrugged and opened the door. We all piled out. Tom looked around through the dark, "We are in the middle of nowhere."  
"Chris!" Tom shouted up to our driver, "What happened?"  
"Snow," Chris shrugged, "A lot of it."  
We all shivered and looked around. The snow was continuing to pile up on the streets. We all groaned, "So now what?" Tom asked.  
"We wait for a snow plow to clear the path for us or something, I guess." Chris shrugged, "Until then I don't know what to do."  
We all sighed and leaned against the van. My eyelids kept falling shut.  
"Anyone else have to pee?" I asked after a second. All the guys stared at me. "No."  
"Well, I do." I told them  
"Well, you're screwed until we get home." Harry laughed  
I looked around, "Am not." I said walking over to a thick line of bushes along the road.  
"Dougie, really." Danny said  
bursting into a fit of laughter, "Your willy's gonna freeze and fall off!" he told me.  
"What willy?" Tom asked, and the three of them doubled over laughing.  
"Ha ha, screw you guys," I unbuckled my jeans.  
"Dougie you're insane." Tom shouted at me. "I hope some sort of animal attacks you!"  
"How bout you shut up, and I'll write your name in the snow?" I suggested to Tom. They all kept laughing. I had a feeling this tour was going to be more exciting than I had initially planned.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 - Sort of Boyfriend.  
Shay**

So he was finally gone? I knew I was overreacting, one month was nothing. But after that big tour bus drove away, I sat in their front yard and lost it. I must have cried for a good half hour before I decided to stop being pathetic and go back home. I needed to find something, anything to get me through this next month. Something to distract me for just four, maybe five weeks. It wasn't going to be easy, but I was set on doing it.  
I sat in my room most of the day, trying to come up with some way to pass an entire month's time. to try and think of something that would get my mind off Dougie. I couldn't do it.  
"Shayna," my mother stood at my bedroom door, her arms crossed, "I know your best friends are off on tour, but you can't just mope around for the next month."  
"What else do you expect me to do?" I asked her.  
"Where are your other friends?" she asked me, "Where are Caitlin and Sasha? They haven't come around in a while. Why don't you call them?"  
I sighed, "Fine."  
I pulled out my cell phone, then told them to meet me at starbucks in ten minutes.  
I walked down to the small coffee shop with my hands stuffed in my pockets. This was going to be the longest month of my entire life.  
I shrugged out of my jacket and sat at a small table in the back corner while I waited for my friends. I rubbed my arms and tried to warm up, it was starting to get cold out again.  
I waited for about twenty minutes and my friends still hadn't showed up. I decided I'd order something while I was waiting. I asked for a grande vanilla frappuccino, then laughed as I recalled the memory of Dougie telling off the workers the last time we were here.  
I sat back at my pathetic little table and spun the straw around in my drink, lost in my own little world.  
"'Scuse me," I heard a voice say. I wasn't sure if they were talking to me, and I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't even bother looking up at first. But I could feel someone standing there, so I looked up. A short boy with spikey blonde hair and impossibly blue eyes was standing shyly across from there.  
"Yeah?" I asked quietly.  
"Is...anyone sitting here?" he asked me. I shook my head, "No. Not yet anyway."  
"Mind if I sit down?" he asked. I shook my head, "Nah, go ahead."  
He took the seat across from me and smiled. He looked like a movie star or something, his bright teeth standing out against his slightly tan skin, despite the fact it was almost winter and it hasn't been sunny in days. He looked familiar too, but I couldn't place where I'd seen him before. I shook the thought out of my head, I probably didn't know him at all. But I had to admit, he was very cute.  
"So if you don't mind my asking, what's a pretty girl like you doing out on a friday night by yourself?" he asked me with a crooked smile.  
"Trying to stay away from lines like that," I joked, then laughed so he didn't think I was being rude, "No, I'm just kidding. I'm actually waiting for someone, but they're taking a while."  
"Ah," he nodded, "Who you waiting for?"  
"A few friends," I told him.  
He nodded understandingly, "So if you don't mind my asking again, you look a little upset."  
"I am," I told him. It was weird how someone I just met seemed to know me so well. Or maybe I was just easy to read.  
"What's wrong?" he asked, leaning forward. He wasn't trying to pry, I could tell that much. He really did seem to care. I just shrugged, "My friend just left, is all."  
He nodded, "For how long?"  
"A month." I sighed, "And I really miss him."  
"Him?" he asked, "Is he your boyfriend?"  
I thought about that for a minute, "Err...sorta."  
Truth was, we were never officially considered boyfriend and girlfriend. I liked to think of him more than that, really. Relationships ended, but no matter what Dougie was always going to be there.  
"What's a sort of boyfriend?" the boy asked me, smiling.  
"It's...complicated." I said, explaining it as best i could. He just nodded, "So if you're only sort of together then would it be okay if I asked you on a sort of date?" He looked at me through his thick eyelashes and smiled a childish grin.  
I honestly didn't see the big deal about it. A small date, not even a real date, just me getting to know him a bit better. It wouldn't be so bad. As long as he didn't pull anything on me I was sure Dougie wouldn't mind at all.  
I nodded, "Sure. But what's a sort of date?"  
"You and me can go get something to eat. See a movie maybe?" he suggested, "I'll pay. If you want."  
"No," I shook my head, "I have money. Besides if you pay, it would be a date. It's only a 'sort of' date remember?"  
"Right," he laughed.  
I reached into my purse and pulled out a pen, then grabbed his wrist and scribbled my number on it, "Call me later, okay?"  
"Sure," he grinned, eyeing his arm. "See you.  
"Bye." I smiled, "Oh, my name's Shayna by the way." I stuck out my hand. He grabbed it and smiled. "James."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 - A Break.  
Dougie**

We all climbed back into the van because it was much warmer in there. We had to wait for the snow plow to come, which took about an hour. By that time I was half asleep again, sprawled out on the backseat. Harry wasn't too happy about that.  
"Doug, get your feet off of me," he shoved my legs and my eyes shot open.  
"Wha...? Oh. Sorry" I shrugged.  
"Mate, you can't fall asleep." Tom turned around in his seat, "If you fall asleep, then I'm stuck with just these two idiots. The mix of Harry's posh family stories and Danny's slow accent is enough to make me want to shoot myself."  
Two fists flew into either one of Tom's shoulders. "OW!"  
"Oh, come on mate we barely touched you," Danny said, throwing a grin towards Harry. Harry started laughing, "Yeah, dude. Quit being a pansy."  
"I'm NOT a pansy," Tom insisted, rubbing both his arms.  
"Not a pansy?" I joined in, then reached into his suitcase that was in the trunk, "Then how do you explain this?"  
Danny and Harry fell into a fit of hysteria as I pulled out a small stuffed dwarf, Sleepy from Snow White. Tom snatched it out of my hands, "Dougie!"  
"Sorry, sorry that was rude and insensitive of me," I told him. Danny and Harry calmed down and nodded, "Yeah, sorry mate."  
Tom glared at the three of us, before setting Sleepy in his lap and staring out the window.  
"Pansy," I coughed.  
"What was that?" Tom turned to me.  
"Oh, nothing."  
Finally, at 2:00am, we made it back to the hotel. I barely made it into our room before I fell onto the bed, my shoes and jeans still on, and passed out.

Of course, I didn't get much sleep that night because I had to be up by 7:00am and back on the tour bus. We had a show that night and we had to be on the road by 7:30.  
Now, usually at home I can drown out the rest of the boys' voices because I'll just shut my bedroom door and put my headphones in. But in a hotel room with three boys all fighting like nine year olds it was a little difficult. And it wasn't any easier on the bus. I gave up trying to fall back asleep around 9:00.  
"Danny!" Tom came walking over to Danny and I who were playing FIFA on the XBox. Danny was shoveling chips into his mouth without ever looking away from the TV screen?  
"Danny have you seen my--" Tom stopped and stared at Danny. Danny paused the game and looked up at him, "What?"  
"Those are mine!" Tom pointed at the bag of chips. Danny looked down at them.  
"They don't have your name on them." he said with his mouth full. Tom grabbed the bag from Danny and pointed to the piece of tape with TOM scribbled clearly on it, "Yes it does!"  
Danny stared at the bag, then back to Tom. "Oh." he shrugged, "My bad."  
Tom rolled his eyes then stalked back out of the room, Harry coming in after him, "Dougie," he held his cell phone out to me, "Phone's for you."  
"Who is it?" I asked him.  
"Shay." he told me.  
"Why didn't Shay just call my phone?" I asked, reaching into my pocket. I sighed when I stared at the blank screen. Dead again.  
"Wait one minute!" Danny stood up, "My own sister calls Harry and then asks to talk to Dougie but never once asks for me? What next, she's going to get knocked up by Tom? Love you too Shay!" he shouted into the receiver of the phone.  
I took Harry's cell and put it to my ear, "Hello?"  
"Hi Dougie," she laughed, "Tell Danny I'll call him later, okay?"  
"Sure, sure," I pulled the phone away from my mouth, "DANNY! Shay says you suck at life and you're lucky she even misses you at all!"  
"Dougie!" Shay laughed. "Anyway, how's everything going on the road?"  
"Pretty good. Everyone here argues like little kids, but you get used to it. How are things at home?"  
"Lonely," she sighed sadly. "I miss you."  
"I miss you too." I told her, "It won't be much longer, you'll see. Call up your other friends and hang out with them, they'll be excited to see you. It won't be so bad without me."  
"Yes it is," she sighed again, "Anyway, let me talk to my brother before he has a stroke, will ya?"  
"Sure," I laughed, "Daniel! You're lovely little sister is on the phone!"  
"Shayna!" Danny shouted into Harry's cell before walking to his bunk. I sighed and flopped back onto the couch. Just hearing her voice left a hole in my heart. I missed her so much and it's only been two days. I had to pull myself together. I couldn't be like this during the show. I couldn't be like this on tour. I needed to forget about her. No, not forget about her, just push her to the back of my mind. For now.  
But there was only one way I could think of to even do that.  
I weighed the pros and cons in my head. I mean, maybe it would be best for both of us. Just take a break. Not forget each other, just take a break until I got home. Then we'd pick up where we left off. Just thinking about it made me sad, but I knew it the long run it might make things easier.  
"Danny!" I shouted, "Lemme talk to Shay again!"  
Danny handed me the phone and I took a deep breath, walking to my bunk. "Shay?" my voice was rough and shaky. I didn't know it was going to be this hard.  
"Yeah?"  
"Listen, you and I both are having a hard time with this." I said slowly, "I miss you. And you miss me. And I think maybe it will be a little easier for both of us if we kinda took a break..."  
Silence.  
"I mean, you're still my best friend, you know. And I'll still call you and stuff. But maybe the whole relationship thing we should hold off on, you know?"  
Silence.  
"I mean, if we even we in a relationship to begin with. It never really was said, but I liked to think of us as a couple."  
Silence.  
"Shayna, please. Don't be mad at me." I pleaded.  
"I'm not mad." she finally said, her voice light and very understanding, "I agree. It'll be easier. I mean, I'll still miss you."  
"Of course."  
"But it might make things less depressing."  
"Exactly," I nodded, sighing, glad she understood.  
"Well, I'll talk to you later then?" she said.  
"Yup, I'll call you before the show." I promised, "For good luck."  
"Okay, talk to you later then. Love you," she smiled. But it wasn't the save 'I love you' as before. It was more casual. More friendly.  
"Love you too." I smiled before hanging up.  
Now I may have been a guy, but I wasn't stupid. Something was up.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 - Fame is Weird.  
Dougie**

"You alright, Doug?" Harry asked me when I handed him back his cell phone.  
"Yeah," I nodded, "Yeah I'm fine."  
I fell back onto the couch and watched a very violent game of FIFA break out between Danny and Tom. It was only violent because when Tom won, Danny decided he would accuse Tom of cheating. It ended very badly. Danny had Tom in a headlock while Tom tried to elbow Danny in the balls. Harry and I had to break it up and send them to their neutral corners.  
"How much longer?" Tom asked putting a few asprin in his mouth and chasing it down with a bottle of water, "I don't know how much more of you all I can take."  
The three of us threw punches into his stomach making him double over, "Ow!"  
"Pansy" we all coughed. Tom glared at us, before finally cracking a smile and joining us on the couch. We were watching South Park. Danny insisted on bringing his DVD of his favorite episodes so we had something to do.  
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Danny kept poking Tom. Tom was ignoring him.  
"Tooooom!"  
"What Danny!?" Tom turned around.  
"Are we there yet?" Danny asked again. Tom hit him in the face with a pillow. "Shut up will you? We still have another ten minutes or so and if you keep talking I may have to strangle you and then we'll be out of a second guitarist and vocalist which means more work for me."  
"So don't kill me and we won't have that problem." Danny shot back sticking his tongue out.  
"So Dougie," Harry said to me, "Since you're the only one here with a girlfriend it looks like you're the only one who won't be getting any action this tour, doesn't it?"  
"Aw, leave him alone." Tom said, "Not his fault he's in love. Besides, I'm sure he'll get plenty when he gets home."  
"Can we PLEASE stop this!?" Danny groaned, "That's my sister you're talking about! I mean, Doug, I know you love her and all but--"  
"Enough!" I said, "You're all wrong because...we kinda broke up."  
"WHAT?!" Four pairs of eyes burnt holes through me.  
"Mate, if you hurt her I swear to god," Danny started.  
"I didn't!" I said, "Besides, I thought you of all people would be happy about this. We just agreed that since I'm gone we should take a little break and see where things leave us when I get home. She's not mad."  
"Good." Danny said, "Then I see no problem with it."  
I rolled my eyes. Danny was being a hypocrite, but I guess if it was my sister I'd feel the same way.  
"So you'll come pick up chicks with us then?" Harry asked. I shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

After what seemed like an eternity we made it to the venue. We had to do a few run throughs of the show and then we were free to hang out in our dressing room for the day.  
"Look at all this food!" Tom shouted, eying the massive tray of fruits, candy, soda, anything you could think of.  
Danny opened the fridge, pulled out a bottle and opened it, "BEER! WAYYY!"  
"Danny if you get wasted and ruin this show, I will shove you out the tour bus window when we're on the freeway." Harry told him, grabbing a bottle himself.  
"Yeah, same goes to you." Danny said, and the two of them took a sip.

"McFLY, you guys are on in five," we heard a voice tell us from the door.  
"Kay, Thanks!" Tom called, before finishing off yet another can of soda then getting up. "Ready guys?"  
We all nodded. I was shaking from nerves and excitement. We all walked backstage and saw thousands of screaming fans waiting for us.  
"McFLY! McFLY! McFLY!" They were all chanting and holding up their banners.  
"I'm so nervous," Tom told me with a smile.  
"Same here," I agreed, though my voice was barely audible. I was shaking so bad by this time. I'd played shows before, but this was much different.  
"Let's go." Danny lead us onstage and that entire night seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.

"That was amazing," Tom said breathlessly as we entered the tour bus. He and I were the first ones out of there. We stared out the window at all the fans who seemed to be doing anything theyy could to get their hands on Danny. He eventually ripped his shirt off, threw it into the crowd, then he and Harry made a run for it.  
"That was so wicked," Danny laughed grabbing a clean shirt and pulling it on, then wiping his hair out of his sweaty face.  
"Tom can I borrow your phone?" I asked getting up.  
"Sure, here ya go." Tom smiled and I flipped his phone open and left the room dialing the one number I knew I needed to call.  
I waited and waited, but no answer.  
"Hey it's Shay....haha that rhymed." The voicemail said. I smiled. It was my high pitched "girl voice."  
"Dougie, shut up. Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, I'm not here so leave a message and I'll get back to you."  
"She's lying!" My voice shouted from the background. Shay's giggle was heard right before the 'beeep.'  
My expression fell when I realized she wasn't answering, but I sighed and left a message anyway.  
"Hey, it's Dougie. You're probably sleeping, but anyway just call when you get this. The show just ended and I wanna tell you about it. Thanks, see ya."

We stopped at a hotel for the night. We didn't have a show the next day so we were going to take our time getting to the next venue. The guys and I headed up to our rooms.  
"Doug, can I come in?" Harry's voice was heard from outside my door. I walked over and opened it, "Hey."  
"Hey, the guys and I are gonna go down to the bar for a bit, you wanna come?" he asked me.  
"Sure, I'll be down in a sec, just let me change. I'll meet you down there." I told him. He nodded and followed Danny and Tom into the elevator. I pulled on a new pair of jeans and a shirt, then tried calling Shay again. No luck. I sighed and left the room.  
Being famous was weird. I mean, it was late that night. Almost midnight. But people were still out in the halls just waiting to catch a glimpse of the guys and I. It was weird. People just stopped and stared at me. I shifted the weight on my feet awkwardly as I waited for the elevator.  
The doors opened and I stepped into the small elevator. There was one other girl in there who was staring at me. She was pretty fit, so as always, I got nervous. I just smiled at her, then stood against the opposite wall.  
Then something totally random happened. Our eyes locked for about two seconds, mind you I have never spoken to this girl, and then out of nowhere I was pinned against the wall of the elevator with her tongue down my throat. I opened my eyes and looked around. My back was against all the buttons. At least six of them got pressed in the process of her attacking my face.  
Then, we heard the ding of the elevator and the door opened. There were so many people in the lobby trying to talk to the rest of the guys, but when the doors opened it got silent. All of those people, including my bandmates were watching me and this random chick. Finally, she pulled away from me, smiled, then ran off giggling and looking for her friends.  
I looked up at all the stunned faces who were staring at me. I just gave them a crooked grin, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, then caught up with the rest of the guys.


End file.
